06.05.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Respect for Boundaries

Purpose

This tool helps you evaluate whether a prospective partner demonstrates the self-control, respect, accountability, maturity and principled restraint necessary to maintain healthy boundaries before and after marriage.

Instructions

Rate the prospective partner against each of the following indicators based on your observations, interactions and experiences. Circle the score that best reflects your assessment.

Assessment Area	Score (1–5)
The person is willing to discuss and observe boundaries.	1 2 3 4 5
The person maintains boundaries consistently in both private and public settings.	1 2 3 4 5
The person's decisions are guided by principles rather than emotions, convenience or pressure.	1 2 3 4 5
The person respects emotional space.	1 2 3 4 5
The person respects mental space.	1 2 3 4 5
The person respects physical space.	1 2 3 4 5
The person demonstrates positive behavioural change after concerns or boundaries are discussed.	1 2 3 4 5
The person avoids using guilt, anger, withdrawal or emotional pressure to force compromise.	1 2 3 4 5
The person takes ownership when boundaries are crossed or mistakes are made.	1 2 3 4 5
The person avoids temptation-prone environments and situations.	1 2 3 4 5

Scoring Guide

Score	Meaning
1	Very Poor
2	Poor
3	Fair
4	Good
5	Excellent

Total Score: ______ / 50

Interpreting Your Score

Score Range	Interpretation
41–50	Strong Evidence of Respect for Boundaries. The person demonstrates maturity, self-control, accountability and respect for limits. The signs are generally encouraging.
31–40	Generally Positive but Requires Further Observation. The person demonstrates several healthy qualities but there are areas that require further observation, discussion or clarification.
21–30	Proceed with Caution. Important concerns exist regarding boundaries, self-restraint or accountability. More time, observation and counsel may be necessary before making major relationship decisions.
10–20	Significant Boundary Concerns. The person demonstrates multiple indicators of poor boundary management, limited self-control or disregard for limits. Serious caution is advised.

Part A: Evidence from Observation

1. What actions have demonstrated the person's respect for boundaries?

2. What actions have raised concerns regarding the person's respect for boundaries?

3. How does the person respond when limits, expectations or concerns are discussed?

4. Have the person's actions consistently matched his or her words? Explain.

Part B: Assessing Marriage Readiness

5. Which qualities suggest that the person is ready for a healthy marriage?

☐ Integrity

☐ Self-control

☐ Respect

☐ Accountability

☒ Emotional maturity

☐ Trustworthiness

☐ Patience

☐ Wise judgement

☐ Spiritual maturity

☐ Other: __________________

Provide examples:

6. Which qualities require further growth or development?

7. What concerns, if any, would cause you to slow down and observe more carefully before proceeding?

8. What concerns, if any, would cause you to reconsider the relationship altogether?

Part C: My Overall Assessment

9. What is the strongest evidence that this person respects boundaries?

10. What is the most significant concern that still requires attention?

11. Based on the evidence available, how would you describe the person's readiness for a healthy marriage?

12. What should your next step be?

☐ Continue building the relationship

☐ Observe for a longer period

☐ Seek counsel

☐ Discuss concerns openly

☐ Reconsider the relationship

☐ Other: ______________________

06.05.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Respect for Boundaries