06.05.13 The 7th Key for Evaluating the Respect for Boundaries in a Prospective Partner Does the Person Take Ownership When Boundaries Are Crossed?

7. Does the Person Take Ownership When Boundaries Are Crossed?

Observe how the prospective partner responds when a boundary is crossed. Does she or he acknowledge responsibility and correct his or her conduct; or does the person justify or minimise the mistake, or shift blame?

Bible scholars mention a long list of social, religious and political boundaries that Joseph and Mary bypassed, although the couple did not break any legal laws per se. To mention a few, Mary’s unexpected pregnancy was against social and cultural norms as the child was conceived out of so-called ‘wedlock’. Another is that the couple entered and resided in Egypt under cover or in hiding. Yet another comes from the assertion that some people make, claiming that giving birth in a manger was against tradition. However, in each case. Mary and Joseph seem to have been unapologetically ready to own their decisions at a personal level and as a couple. There does not seem to have been any blame-shifting or reactive behavior (Matthew 1:19).

Victor refused ownership when Daphne relayed the news of her pregnancy. Much to the girl’s dismay, the man minimised her concerns, shifted responsibility and treated her reaction as excessive rather than admitting that they had broken the ‘boundaries’. His response revealed an avoidance of responsibility and a lack of disciplined accountability.

A prospective partner’s ownership of behavior genuinely reflects accountability, whereas self-justification exposes a deliberate avoidance of responsibility. A person who admits overstepping a boundary demonstrates maturity, accountability and respect for moral standards. However, justification and blame-shifting reveal an unreliable character, which is a significant flaw in the person’s capacity for a healthy partnership.