06.04.14 The 8th Key for Evaluating Purity and Self-Control in a Prospective Partner Is Purity Treated as a Shared Responsibility or a Personal Preference?

8. Is Purity Treated as a Shared Responsibility or a Personal Preference?

Assess whether the prospective partner treats purity as a shared responsibility or merely as a personal choice. Does the individual actively participate in maintaining a pure relationship, or is the responsibility left to the other party? Is there awareness and conviction regarding the short, medium and long-term consequences of entertaining emotional or relational closeness without regard for purity or self-control?

At the threshing floor, both Boaz and Ruth must have observed each other treating purity as a shared responsibility. By abstaining from physical intimacy, they protected one another’s dignity, reputation and future. Boaz immediately pursued lawful resolution of their situation (Ruth 3:14; Ruth 4:1–10).

In contrast, Stephen treated purity as Maria’s responsibility and not his. ‘Purity’ was ‘up to the woman’ and to call a spade-a-spade, he really did not give a damn as purity and self-control were not on his list of values. While Maria believed they were both pursuing abstinence, the man was busy sleeping with other women right under the girl’s very nose. His concealed cheating revealed disregard for purity as a shared moral obligation.

Purity within a relationship is sustained when both of you are mutually responsible for preserving it. A person who values purity as a shared responsibility will display ‘protective discipline’, consistency and clear moral clarity. Such conduct preserves dignity, strengthens trust and establishes a stable moral foundation for your relationship.