06.04.07 The 1st Key for Evaluating Purity and Self-Control in a Prospective Partner Does the Person Demonstrate Self-Control in Conversation, Time Management and Environments?

1. Does the Person Demonstrate Self-Control in Conversation, Time Management and Environments?

Observe the prospective partner’s self-control during conversations, management of time and the environments they choose. Does the person respect your time and emotional space; or does she or he overstretch or go overboard? Does the individual insist on late night calls, private meetings or inappropriate and emotionally intense conversations?

Ruth must have marveled at Boaz’s self-control, the night she paid him a surprise visit on the threshing floor. She had been married before. So, she knew what could happen given that she was young, beautiful and next to penniless. But instead of taking advantage of Ruth’s vulnerable position, the wealthy and influential man exercised restraint, interacting with her respectfully. She saw him manage his time by making sure that the young widow departs before the break of dawn to avoid fuelling rumours about their encounter (Ruth 3:8–14).

Stephen’s pattern revealed the opposite. His lack of self-control thrived on hidden pornography and simultaneous romantic involvement with multiple women, Maria inclusive. He would fan their emotions through late night calls and messages, gifts and ambiguous promises. His lack of self-control left a trail of confusion, emotional harm and broken trust among the non-suspecting women, as they would believe his lies as if it were gospel truth.

A self-controlled prospective partner appreciates that boundaries are not restrictions but safeguards; and is willing and ready to actively promote and keep them, as well as avoiding any situations and environments that test or stretch one’s self-control (1 Corinthians 6:12). These details matter, because compromise often begins with small choices that appear harmless.