06.04.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating Purity and Self-Control in a Prospective Partner Is Godliness Prioritised Over Personal Feelings?

3. Is Godliness Prioritised Over Personal Feelings?

Assess whether the prospective partner consistently places adherence to God’s Word above his or her personal desires, emotions and comfort. Does the person seek guidance from the Word when making decisions? Is the individual willing to restrain his or her feelings in submission and obedience to God’s Word? Does the person’s choices and behaviours reveal a life directed by godliness; or one governed primarily by human emotions?

During Ruth’s and Boaz’s encounter on the threshing floor, the young widow must have clearly seen how the man prioritised godliness over personal feelings, where the man’s actions were governed by God’s law rather than personal desire. Rather than pursuing immediate gratification, Boaz chose to follow the process of ‘kinsman redemption’ according to God's law (Ruth 3:8–14; Ruth 4:1–10). His conduct revealed reverence for God and commitment to righteousness above all else.

Stephen’s pattern revealed the opposite priority. Rather than submitting his desires to God’s standards, he allowed impulse and hidden struggles to guide his conduct. The man’s involvement with pornography and simultaneous romantic attachment to multiple women demonstrated a consistent pattern of gratifying emotional and physical desires above godliness. Instead of allowing God’s Word to shape his decisions, Stephen permitted his personal feelings to influence the way he behaved, while disregarding the well-being of others.

A person who prioritises godliness over feelings demonstrates submission to God's Word. Such a foundation stabilises your relationship, anchoring it in spiritual and moral values, thence fostering spiritual growth. That behavior strengthens trust and provides a secure moral environment for a godly relationship.