06.04.12 The 6th Key for Evaluating Purity and Self-Control in a Prospective Partner Is there Evidence of Sexual Integrity in the Person's History?

6. Is there Evidence of Sexual Integrity in the Person’s History?

Assess whether the prospective partner’s history reflects sexual integrity. Is the person an ‘open book'; or do hidden struggles or concealed patterns influence his or her behaviour?

Boaz must have discovered that despite years since the death of Ruth's husband Mahlon in Moab, the young widow had kept herself pure. The bible is silent regarding whether Boaz had other relationships before meeting Ruth, but the fact that he did not manipulatively touch the woman that night displays his sexual integrity.

Stephen’s personal history revealed how he had been compromising behind the scenes. The man’s secretive involvement in pornography, unknown to Maria from the beginning, must have driven him on a sex rampage with several women. While appearing ‘pure’ and God-fearing, he was simultaneously involved with Bianca, Caren and Grace. Moreover, when confronted, Stephen attempted to dismiss the evidence and manipulate facts rather than cutting the story short by owning up. That concealment and deception exposed the man's lack of sexual integrity.

Sexual integrity does not mean the absence of past sexual involvement as that could have happened before becoming a committed Christian. However, the partner must have repented and turned away from such a past. The person's current conduct should have a high level of discipline comprising consistent sexual abstinence, truthfulness, accountability, transparency, self-control and moral responsibility among others. A partner who has sexual integrity does not have a gap between professed values and his or her actual behaviour.