06.03.08 The 2nd Key for Evaluating Signs of Commitment in a Prospective Partner

2. Are Commitments Demonstrated through Consistent Actions?

Notice how the prospective partner handles obligations and responsibilities. Does the individual remain reliable even when responsibilities increase; or does she or he tend to avoid the obligations?

Every single day that Jacob labored in Laban's household must have continued to prove to Rachel that her husband was a man of his word. There was no doubt that Jacob was ready to keep his promise of providing labour in exchange for her hand in marriage, even when the required period got unexpectedly and treacherously extended (Genesis 29:27–28). It should be noted that the man was working away from Laban’s direct observations and in the days of ‘tooth for a tooth’ and ‘an eye for an eye’, one could have probably understood if Jacob gave Laban a taste of his own medicine by just lazing and relaxing out there in the wild. Yet Jacob remained reliable and faithful.

Kenneth displayed a different approach. He disappointed Monica by refusing to meet her pastor, signaling unreliability. The man’s unwillingness to discuss life beyond the glamorous wedding he craved was another indicator that any sober-minded partner would not depend on Kenneth. He was so unreliable that he belonged to no single church, moving from place to place and dismissing the need for commitment to one. The man seemed interested in romance but was not prepared for any kind of long-term commitment, which destroyed the confidence that Monica had in the long-term viability of their relationship.

Real and meaningful commitment shows itself through a person’s consistent and reliable actions, not just words or promises as those could be ‘empty’. A partner who steadily shows dependability and fulfills obligations is much more likely to build a stable and enduring marriage. Such consistent actions are a powerful indicator of the person’s readiness for shared life; and the individual’s capacity to uphold his or her word.