06.03.07 The 1st Key for Evaluating Signs of Commitment in a Prospective Partner

1. Is Commitment Treated as a Priority?

Consider how the prospective partner talks about marriage. Is the person aware that marriage is a covenant instituted by God? Does she or he treat commitment as the core of a successful marriage; or does the person focus on romance and excitement as the priority?

Rachel must have been fully convinced that Jacob's commitment to her and their marriage was a priority, since after their physical intimacy one week after his wedding with Leah, the man was still happily ready to work for seven years in lieu of the bride price he owed her father, Laban (Genesis 29:18). Jacob was so committed that the seven years “seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her” (Genesis 29:20).

In contrast, Kenneth was far from treating his commitment to Monica as a priority. The man focused on wedding glamour as most important, avoiding any practical discussions about shared values, direction or any responsibility that signaled long-term commitments. After attending a lavish wedding, Kenneth glorified the event itself and was less concerned about life thereafter or the responsibilities that would come with wedlock. His conduct left no doubt that the man lacked real commitment to a lasting relationship.

A partner who treats marriage as a ‘covenant responsibility’ is more likely to build a stable and resilient relationship. While it is not advisable to discuss marriage prematurely, when an individual is genuinely serious, the topic will naturally emerge. Listen intently then, as the person’s views on marriage will reveal his or her understanding of the weight of marriage, its permanence and the level of commitment it requires.