06.03.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Commitment
06.03.T02-ES — Evaluation Scorecard: Assessing a Prospective Partner's Commitment
Purpose
This tool helps you evaluate whether a prospective partner demonstrates the kind of commitment required to build, sustain and protect a lifelong marriage. The assessment is based on the six indicators of commitment discussed in this chapter.
Instructions
Rate the person based on consistent patterns of behaviour rather than promises, intentions or isolated incidents.
| Commitment Indicator | Score (1–5) |
|---|---|
| The person treats marriage as a serious covenant responsibility rather than merely a romantic experience. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person's actions consistently support his or her promises and commitments. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person prioritises partnership and shared responsibility over personal preference. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person remains present, supportive and engaged during difficult circumstances. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person's commitment appears spiritually anchored rather than emotionally driven. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
| The person respects my responsibilities, convictions, commitments and autonomy. | 1 2 3 4 5 |
Total Score: ______ / 30
Interpreting Your Score
| Score Range | Interpretation |
|---|---|
| 25–30 | Strong evidence of commitment, reliability and readiness for a long-term relationship. Continue observing the person over time. |
| 19–24 | Several positive indicators are present, though some areas require further observation and discussion. |
| 13–18 | Important concerns exist regarding commitment, reliability or readiness for marriage. Proceed cautiously. |
| 6–12 | Significant concerns exist. The person's conduct currently provides weak evidence of sustained commitment. |
Part A: Commitment as a Priority
1. What evidence suggests that the person views marriage as a long-term covenant responsibility rather than merely a romantic experience?
2. Does the person's understanding of marriage focus more on the wedding or on the responsibilities that follow? Explain.
3. What actions demonstrate that commitment is a genuine priority in the person's life?
This section reflects the chapter's first evaluation question: Is commitment treated as a priority?
Part B: Commitment Demonstrated Through Actions
4. How consistently does the person honour promises, obligations and responsibilities?
5. What evidence suggests that the person's actions can be trusted?
6. What evidence, if any, raises concerns about the person's reliability or dependability?
This section reflects the chapter's emphasis on commitment being demonstrated through consistent actions rather than words alone.
Part C: Partnership versus Personal Preference
7. When decisions affect both of you, does the person seek a shared direction or mainly pursue personal preferences?
8. How well does the person balance personal interests with the needs of the relationship?
9. What evidence suggests that the person is prepared for shared responsibility in marriage?
This section reflects the chapter's discussion of partnership, unity and shared responsibility.
Part D: Commitment During Difficult Times
10. How does the person respond when circumstances become difficult, inconvenient or disappointing?
11. What evidence suggests that the person remains committed when faced with challenges?
12. What concerns, if any, suggest the person's tendency to withdraw, avoid responsibility or become defensive during difficult situations?
This section reflects the chapter's emphasis on commitment being revealed during difficult seasons.
Part E: Spiritual Anchoring and Commitment
13. What evidence suggests that the person's commitment is anchored in spiritual convictions and values?
14. How seriously does the person pursue spiritual growth, accountability and obedience to God?
15. What concerns, if any, suggest that the person's commitment is driven more by emotions than by conviction?
This section reflects the chapter's discussion of spiritually anchored commitment.
Part F: Respect for Responsibilities and Autonomy
16. How does the person respond to my responsibilities, commitments and convictions?
17. Does the person encourage me to honour my commitments or pressure me to abandon them? Explain.
18. What evidence suggests that the person respects my autonomy rather than attempting to control or redirect my life?
This section reflects the chapter's discussion of autonomy, control and possessiveness.
Part G: My Overall Assessment
19. Which sign of commitment gives me the greatest confidence in the person?
20. Which concern regarding the person's commitment requires the closest attention?
21. Based on the evidence available, how would I describe the person's overall level of commitment?
☐ Very Strong
☐ Strong
☐ Moderate
☐ Weak
☐ Very Weak
Why?
22. What should my next step be?
☐ Continue observing
☐ Seek clarification
☐ Discuss concerns openly
☐ Seek wise counsel
☐ Proceed cautiously
☐ Reconsider the relationship
