06.01.03 How Spiritual Alignment Works in Our Marriage

How Spiritual Alignment Works in Our Marriage

A Personal Experience

I discovered that being spiritually aligned is the foundation for our marriage success. Interestingly, that alignment started well before we got saved. I vividly remember how we would diligently attend a lunch-hour fellowship without needing to persuade or coerce each other. And, by God’s grace, we later gave our lives to Jesus Christ on the same day during one of T. L. Osborn’s crusades held in Kampala in March 1985. That commitment lifted our lives to a whole new level, and we have never regretted that decision. We became saved ‘for life’.

Being spiritually aligned means that we submit to the same divine authority rather than being solely driven by personal preferences. In other words, we allow biblical standards to govern the choices we make. And because the Word of God does not change (Isaiah 40:8), subscribing to it brings order and accountability in how we relate.

We always pray together. I actually discovered that through praying openly, we learn so much about each other; for instance, our praise reports, struggles, pain points and other personal matters. Discussing God’s Word is one of the best times that we ever spend with one another. And although our schedules may sometimes disrupt that program, we always endeavour to catch up.

When communicating, we make a deliberate effort to ensure that our words ‘minister grace to each other’ (Ephesians 4:29). In addition, we put effort into ensuring that our conversations do not conflict with God’s Word, knowing that He is always listening in (Matthew 12:36). And if we stray or talk carelessly, it is very common for us to lovingly rebuke ourselves audibly.

Forgiveness is central in our relationship, not only because we love each other, but because forgiveness is God’s command (Matthew 18:21–22; 1 Corinthians 13:5). When disagreements arise, one of my husband’s common reactions is to ask, “What would Jesus do?”, which goes a long way in keeping us on course. It is also common for us to pray in such moments. To cut a long story short, and believe you me, that intervention has always calmed me down, putting an end to any destructive reactions while restoring peace with sincerity and humility.

We endeavour to love each other with no conditions or strings attached. As Jesus said in Matthew 22:39, we love one another as each of us loves himself or herself. When the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church I have seen my husband go to great lengths to love me self sacrificially, as shared in many places in these series. That makes it much easier for me to submit to him (Ephesians 5:22-24).

We endeavour to live with integrity, ensuring that our actions align with what we profess. This helps us to avoid carnal reactions, as they can destroy a marriage (Romans 8:6). Also, we do as we say, rather than disconnecting our actions from what we confess. We are the first points of each other’s testimony as born-again Christians (James 2:18). In addition, our conduct remains consistent across the board, whether we are out there or behind closed doors, rather than pretending to be happily married ‘just for show’. This has strengthened our friendship and made us genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

During challenging seasons, we run to the same spiritual source for strength. We join together in faith, agreeing that God will see us through irrespective of how overwhelming a situation may be. That is how we have been able to navigate difficult terrains together without compromising our spiritual stand. A classic example is our common stand against kickbacks and bribes in our consultancy business, without compromising our values, as mentioned in many places in these series.