06.05.T01-RS — Reflection Scorecard: What Do Healthy Boundaries Reveal About Marriage Readiness? [goodest?]

Reflecting on the Lessons from Joy Nyabongo, Daphne, Victor, Joseph and Mary

This chapter demonstrates that boundaries are not merely restrictions. They reveal character, convictions, self-control, respect, spiritual maturity and readiness for marriage. Through the experiences of Joy Nyabongo and her future husband, Daphne and Victor, and Joseph and Mary, we gain valuable insights into both choosing a suitable marriage partner and becoming one.

As you complete this reflection, focus on the decisions, attitudes and behaviours displayed in the various stories and what they reveal about readiness for marriage.

Part A: Lessons from Joy Nyabongo's Courtship Experience

1. What impressed you about the way Joy Nyabongo and her future husband handled boundaries during courtship?

2. Which of Joy Nyabongo's decisions best demonstrated her commitment to God's principles?

3. What action best demonstrated her future husband's respect for her convictions and boundaries?

4. What qualities helped Joy Nyabongo and her future husband maintain healthy boundaries during courtship?

5. Which of those qualities contributes most to a healthy marriage? Why?

6. Which of those qualities would you like to strengthen in your own life?

Part B: Lessons from Daphne and Victor

7. At what point did Daphne and Victor begin weakening their boundaries?

8. Which warning signs in their relationship would concern you if you observed them in a relationship today?

9. How did Daphne's decisions affect her readiness for marriage?

10. How did Victor's decisions affect his readiness for marriage?

11. Which qualities were missing from Daphne and Victor's relationship as far as marriage was concerned?

12. What warning does Daphne and Victor's experience offer to people preparing for marriage?

Part C: Lessons from Joseph and Mary

13. What qualities made Joseph suitable for marriage?

14. What qualities made Mary suitable for marriage?

15. What does their story teach about honouring God when circumstances are difficult or confusing?

16. What does their story teach about trust, patience and respect within a relationship?

17. How can Joseph and Mary's relationship guide people preparing for marriage today?

Part D: Recognising Marriage Readiness

18. Reading through the stories, which qualities were common among the people who handled boundaries well?

☐ Integrity

☐ Self-control

☐ Respect

☐ Spiritual maturity

☐ Trustworthiness

☐ Accountability

☐ Patience

☐ Commitment

☐ Wise judgement

☐ Other

19. Which three qualities would you regard as non-negotiable in a prospective marriage partner?

Quality 1

Quality 2

Quality 3

20. Why are these qualities important to you?

Part E: Choosing Marriage Material

21. What behaviours in this chapter would encourage you to continue pursuing a relationship?

22. What behaviours would cause you to slow down and observe more carefully before making a marriage decision?

23. What behaviours would cause you to reconsider a relationship?

24. What has this chapter taught you about the importance of observing behaviour over time?

Part F: Becoming Marriage Material

25. Which quality would strengthen your readiness for marriage if developed further?

26. What qualities discussed in this chapter are already evident in your life?

27. What habits or behaviours could weaken your own boundaries if left unchecked?

28. What habits or behaviours could strengthen your boundaries and readiness for marriage?

29. If someone used the lessons in this chapter to evaluate your readiness for marriage, what strengths would they identify?

30. What concerns might they identify?

Part G: My Key Discoveries

31. What has this chapter taught you about the purpose of boundaries?

32. What qualities distinguish a person who is ready for marriage from one who is not?

33. What does becoming marriage material require?

34. What lesson from Joy Nyabongo's experience would strengthen your own relationships?

35. What warning from Daphne and Victor's experience should remain with you as you move forward?

36. What lesson from Joseph and Mary's experience would strengthen your future or current marriage?

Before I Move On

37. Complete the statement below.

The quality I will pay closest attention to when evaluating a prospective marriage partner is __________________ because __________________.

38. Complete the statement below.

The quality I would like to develop further in my own life is __________________ because __________________.

39. Complete the statement below.

After studying this chapter, I now believe that healthy boundaries are essential because ________________________________.