06.02.03 How Purpose, Direction and Vision Work in Our Marriage

How Purpose, Direction and Vision Work in our Marriage

A Personal Experience

One major reason that has kept my husband and me together for decades is our consistent unity of purpose, direction and vision. A good example is when we believed by faith that our children would attend the best university in Africa. It was an aspiration that I prayed for almost daily from the time they were still in primary school. The fees for such a university were far beyond what we were earning at the time, but we believed that all things are possible. That aspiration propelled us to work hard in order to fulfil that responsibility. As consultants, there were times when organisations treated us as rejects for reasons beyond the scope of this book. Yet each time we remembered the education our children needed, we pressed on, continuing to knock on every available door.

Because we were united in what we were working toward, educating our children at that level became a shared priority. We could rely on each other to do whatever was necessary to achieve that goal. Our efforts were not working against each other but were directed towards a common outcome, which made it easier to move forward without confusion or divergence.

Our shared direction also shaped how we approached our responsibilities. Admission into top universities requires very high academic performance. Because our vision was clear, we raised our children to be studious from an early age. There was never a time when we had to force or constantly supervise them to do their homework. And, by the grace of God, they attained the grades required for admission. At the same time, that same direction brought stability in how we allocated our finances, time and effort. Although we were working on our family home, our children’s education remained a priority. We were also intentional in providing them with the necessary spiritual support to excel in their academics.

That same clarity guided our decisions when we encountered setbacks. A classic example is when I fell seriously ill and had to step away from work for three long years due to stress arising from the backlash that followed our refusal to participate in corruption. Amidst that fierce storm, the prioritisation of our children’s education remained firm. And, in what we can only describe as divine provision, we managed to sell one of our properties at a good price in order to finance their studies. Looking at where our children are today, we can confidently say that we made the right decision.

In our experience, purpose, direction and vision have served as steady reference points within our relationship. They have kept us focused, aligned our intentions with our actions and helped us avoid confusion or misdirection. As a result, our marriage continues to develop with clarity, responsibility and a shared sense of direction.