06.03.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating Signs of Commitment in a Prospective Partner

3. Is Partnership Prioritised Over Personal Preference?

Observe how the prospective partner handles joint responsibilities and decisions. Does the individual prioritise unity and cooperation; or do his or her personal preferences consistently take precedence over shared responsibility and collective progress?

The fact that Jacob continued to work hard to pay Rachel’s bride price must have assured her that their partnership was a priority over and above his personal preferences, as reflected in his willingness to remain, serve and fulfil his commitment rather than abandoning the agreement and returning to his home in Canaan. Moreover, Jacob had already got physically intimate with Rachel and could have easily taken the work for granted, since another person could say that the man had already got ‘what he wanted’. (Genesis 29:20, 27–28). On Joseph’s side, he also must have seen how Rachel prioritised their partnership, given that she remained committed to their relationship despite the disappointment. Together, the couple was able to sustain their partnership through patience, responsibility and shared endurance.

In contrast, Kenneth consistently prioritised his personal preferences over Monica’s. You may recall how he expected the girl to abandon her ushering commitment in favor of his church-hopping tendencies. This showed a clear disrespect for her spiritual duties and personal calling. Kenneth’s decisions were centered on his own desires. As far as he was concerned, the couple were to follow his whims and as long as Monica did that, he would be ‘good to go’.

Commitment requires a prospective partner’s willingness to align with a shared direction. A person who values the partnership above personal preferences is much more likely to build a strong marriage. Real commitment necessitates a transition from ‘me’ to ‘we’, through shared responsibility and mutual support. Such an approach ensures that the decisions you make jointly benefit you both rather than pursuing one person’s selfish motives.