06.01.11 The 5th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Spiritual Alignment : Does the Person's Spiritual Identity Remain Stable Despite Social Influences?

5. Does the Person’s Spiritual Identity Remain Stable Despite Social Influences?

Assess whether the prospective partner remains guided by God when social pressure pulls him or her in a different direction. If peer acceptance, comfort, reputation or personal advantage are at stake, does she or he remain aligned with God? Does the individual reshape his or her spiritual priorities to fit the expectations of the crowd? When faith becomes inconvenient or costly, does the person stand firm; or does she or he give in? Does the individual allow the power of external influences to redirect him or her away from God and His Word?

During Mary and Joseph’s time, the social verdict would have been very clear: The girl you betrothed got pregnant behind your back! So…, indemnify yourself by assuring everyone in your social circles that you are clean. If you have some empathy, put her away quietly so that you do not shame the girl. One can only imagine how Joseph was going to do that since a pregnancy cannot be hidden forever. People knew he had betrothed the young, innocent virgin. Yet against all those odds, Mary saw Joseph choose God's instructions despite the significant social implications of the Hebrew culture. The same rang true for Joseph when Mary narrated the ‘next to impossible’ regarding how Angel Gabriel had paid her a visit; and how she had agreed without hesitation to God's plan and request. Joseph saw a young woman who had chosen God's instructions, caring little about what the public would think (Matthew 1:24; Luke 1:38). That made two of them. They must have been convinced that they were spiritually intertwined and aligned. To each of them, spiritual beliefs were not merely an assertion but a powerful manifestation of obedient conduct to God, despite public opinion.

Donald’s experience was different. The man had heard Harriet profess that she was a Christian; but for the young intern, her desired social status spoke louder than God's voice. She ended up attending church only when it suited her schedule and, alarmingly, replaced fellowship with social and career engagements whenever other programs arose. Her choices revealed that Christianity was an association that took second place; and that she was not ready for it to become a deeply ingrained lifestyle or personal brand. The intern was not prepared for ‘biblically-based spiritual assertions’ to restrainingly guide her priorities, decisions or social freedom; something the staunch Donald was not ready to entertain or be a part of.

A prospective partner whose spiritual identity remains stable despite social influences demonstrates consistency when his or her beliefs become inconvenient or costly. Even under pressure; or when visibility or personal benefit is at stake, the individual still chooses what is right before God. Such conviction continues to shape the person’s priorities, guiding his or her decisions and conduct even when pushed to compromise. This distinction enables you to discern whether a partner’s faith is firmly anchored in allegiance to God or easily adjusted to accommodate the crowd.