07.05.T03-SA — Self-Assessment: My Forgiving Nature and Emotional Healing

04.05.T03-SA — Self-Assessment: My Forgiving Nature and Emotional Healing

Purpose

This tool helps you assess your own forgiving nature, emotional healing and readiness to build a healthy marriage relationship. It is based on the lessons presented through Joy Nyabongo and her husband, Rosalind and Tyson, and Joseph and Mary.

Instructions

Reflect honestly on your attitudes, emotions, responses and behaviours. Circle the score that best describes you.

Self-Assessment Statement	Score (1–5)
I address past hurts, disappointments and painful experiences with honesty and composure.	1 2 3 4 5
I am able to discuss painful experiences calmly and objectively.	1 2 3 4 5
I forgive people who offend, hurt or disappoint me.	1 2 3 4 5
I avoid holding on to bitterness, resentment or thoughts of revenge.	1 2 3 4 5
I address relational problems rather than avoiding them.	1 2 3 4 5
I avoid using withdrawal or the silent treatment when hurt or upset.	1 2 3 4 5
I avoid repeatedly revisiting issues that have already been resolved.	1 2 3 4 5
I deliberately try to understand the other person's perspective before reacting.	1 2 3 4 5
I evaluate people and situations based on present facts rather than past disappointments.	1 2 3 4 5
I have released emotional attachment to past hurts, disappointments or relationships.	1 2 3 4 5

Scoring Guide

Score	Meaning
1	Very Poor
2	Poor
3	Fair
4	Good
5	Excellent

Total Score: ______ / 50

Interpreting Your Score

Score Range	Interpretation
41–50	Strong Evidence of Emotional Healing and Forgiveness. I demonstrate many of the qualities associated with emotional maturity and readiness for a healthy marriage relationship.
31–40	Generally Healthy but Requires Further Growth. I demonstrate several positive qualities, though some areas require greater consistency and attention.
21–30	Proceed with Caution. Certain emotional wounds, fears or unhealthy patterns may still require healing and resolution.
10–20	Significant Concerns Exist. Deliberate healing, reflection, prayer and personal growth may be necessary before pursuing major relationship decisions.

Part A: Examining My Forgiving Nature

1. When I am hurt or offended, how do I normally respond?

2. How easy or difficult is it for me to forgive someone who has disappointed or wronged me?

3. Do I tend to revisit past offences after they have supposedly been resolved? Explain.

4. What lesson about forgiveness from Joy Nyabongo's marriage challenged me most?

5. To what extent do I try to understand another person's intentions before reaching conclusions?

Part B: Examining My Emotional Healing

6. Which of the following signs of emotional healing are most evident in my life?

☐ I address past pain with honesty and composure.

☐ I remain emotionally open without instability or withdrawal.

☐ I have a settled sense of identity.

☐ I judge situations objectively.

☐ I exercise discernment rather than fear.

☐ I treat relationships as fresh experiences.

☐ I have released former emotional wounds.

Provide examples:

7. Which of these areas requires the greatest growth or healing?

8. Are there painful experiences from my past that still influence how I relate with people today?

9. Do I ever find myself comparing my life, relationships or progress with people who hurt or disappointed me?

10. Are there individuals or situations from my past that continue to occupy my thoughts more than they should?

Part C: Lessons from Rosalind and Tyson

11. Which of Rosalind's attitudes or behaviours do I most need to guard against?

12. Have I ever mistaken busyness, distraction or emotional suppression for genuine healing?

13. Have I ever allowed one painful experience to influence how I view other people or future relationships?

14. What lesson from Rosalind's experience is most relevant to my own life?

Part D: Lessons from Joseph and Mary

15. Which qualities demonstrated by Joseph would strengthen my readiness for marriage?

☐ Compassion

☐ Forgiveness

☐ Trust in God

☐ Discernment

☐ Emotional stability

☐ Wise judgement

☐ Patience

☐ Other: _____________________

16. Which qualities demonstrated by Mary would strengthen my readiness for marriage?

17. What can I learn from the way Joseph and Mary responded to painful and difficult circumstances?

Part E: Assessing My Marriage Readiness

18. Which qualities discussed in this chapter are already evident in my life?

☐ Forgiveness

☐ Emotional stability

☐ Emotional openness

☐ Empathy

☐ Discernment

☐ Personal responsibility

☐ A settled sense of identity

☐ Spiritual maturity