07.03.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Understanding and Application of Love Languages Does the Person Offer Acts of Service Willingly and Consistently?

3. Does the Person Offer Acts of Service Willingly and Consistently?

Observe how the prospective partner expresses care. Does the person provide assistance willingly; or only when forced, pushed or pressured? Does she or he extend practical support only when it is convenient or beneficial to him or her? Is his or her assistance dependable and consistent?

Hannah must have witnessed Elkanah’s use of ‘acts of service’ as a love language. For instance, he would ensure that each member of his household was provided for; in addition to taking them for the annual pilgrimage to Shiloh every year (1 Samuel 1:3–5). Those ‘acts of service’ displayed the man’s dependability and practical commitment.

Margaret’s experience was different. For starters, Fabian's help depended on his convenience rather than willingness to ‘serve'; which made the woman feel that she was not his ‘top priority’. Whenever Fabian’s responsibilities increased or she felt overwhelmed with assignments or workload, the man would first focus on his own priorities thence delaying assistance or leaving the woman to ‘face the music’ by carrying her burdens alone.

Acts of service demonstrate a prospective partner’s reliability, responsibility and practical care. Therefore if ‘acts of service’ is one of your most preferred love languages, a partner's consistent actions of love will strengthen the stability of your relationship, and build trust for each other. If the person’s support is dependable and given willingly, his or her actions will create a sense of security and shared responsibility. However, if those acts are inconsistent or rendered reluctantly, such an approach will practically and emotionally strain your relationship.