07.04.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating Nurturing Behaviour Does the Person Consistently Demonstrate Encouragement and Support?

3. Does the Person Consistently Demonstrate Encouragement and Support?

Observe how the prospective partner responds to people’s efforts, struggles and growth. Does the person strengthen others through encouragement and consistent support; or does she or he minimise, ignore or weaken their confidence? Are the person’s words and actions constructive or destructive?

Elizabeth must have noted Zechariah’s consistent encouragement and support. We can tell from the way the man responded after the birth of their son. When Zechariah’s speech was restored, he did not dwell on the long years of waiting, his wife’s barrenness, or on the dumbness he had endured after doubting the angel’s message. Instead, he lifted his voice in praise to God and spoke words of blessing and purpose concerning the child and God’s work among His people (Luke 1:64–69). Zechariah’s words were positive, directing attention to God’s faithfulness and the future that lay ahead.

In contrast, Michael hardly experienced encouragement and support from Nancy. This became evident later that evening when he attempted to express his disappointment about how the day at the zoo had turned out. Rather than acknowledging the effort he had put into organising the experience or recognising what it meant to him, Nancy dismissed his concerns and insisted that he was overreacting. She went as far as stating that the outing had not been worth the effort in the first place. Her response did not strengthen or affirm him, but instead diminished the value of what he had invested in and the significance he had attached to the experience.

A nurturing partner strengthens your relationship through encouragement and consistent support. Words that recognise and affirm your effort, growth and achievements build confidence and resilience. Through encouraging each other, both of you gain strength and confidence to persevere through difficulties together.