07.03.04 How Love Languages Broke Margaret and Fabian's Relationship A Fictitious Story

How Love Languages Broke Margaret and Fabian’s Relationship – A Fictitious Story 

Margaret and Fabian met during a community outreach program. Not only were they in the same engineering field albeit working for different firms, but Fabian was already established in a managerial role while Margaret was still at the officer level. Soon thereafter, their courtship began.

The two young engineers were very different in their love languages. Margaret cherished quality time, feeling connected with a person who slowed down, sat with her, asked how she was doing and listened attentively. Fabian preferred acts of service, expressing his care through fixing, organising, planning and providing for a loved one. Little did they suspect that these differences would cause unspeakable challenges down the line.

The first major challenge surfaced one Saturday afternoon after Margaret had received an email inviting her for a job interview in Nairobi. The excited woman called Fabian immediately to convey the good news. That was when he congratulated her warmly and promised to share tips over lunch that very same day, since the role was for a managerial position. However, the man arrived late, explaining that something had cropped up at the office. “Babe, I have to run… but the lunch bill is on me…! So sorry but I will call tonight,” he said, after downing a soft drink. Then he left. Margaret was so disappointed that she went without lunch that day.

A few weeks later, Margaret invited Fabian to escort her to a local school where she was mentoring young scientists. Since her car had been having issues, Fabian promised to drive the young woman plus take photographs and short videos that she would present at the upcoming job interview to demonstrate her commitment to community development. Margaret had hoped to use the drive to pick the man’s mind on how to prepare for the interview but again, Fabian did not turn up due to a heavy work schedule. Not only did the woman have to get a taxi at the last minute, then ask a teacher to take the photos and videos, but the footage was too poor to use for the interview. However, at the end of the event, Margaret was surprised to see a smiling Fabian picking her from the school and surprising her with a posh dinner. “At long last, I will get some advice about the interview”, she thought, especially since she was flying to Nairobi the following day. But, Fabian was too busy relating details about a road they had been working on, with no room to talk about her interview. “I wish I had someone to talk to…,” she mused miserably, toying with the food that she hardly ate.

That night, a confused Fabian stared blankly at his TV screen. “Women! I took her out to such an expensive dinner. Maybe I am not doing enough…,” he thought. That was how he came up with the idea of picking Margret’s car for repairs the following day, promising to return it in good time for the one-hour drive to the airport. And true to his word, the car was fully repaired and as good as new. However, on the way to the airport, Fabian still did not give her the tips she had been waiting for the whole time.

In the departure lounge, Margaret was surprised to find Lucas, an old schoolmate. Back in the days, they would sit for hours discussing ‘life’. Lucas had always made her feel heard without having to beg for attention. So, after hugs and all, the woman explained that she was travelling for a job interview then laughed lightly, almost dismissively, saying that she had not even had the chance to properly talk through her preparation with anyone. Lucas looked surprised. “You mean you are going for the interview at that company?” he asked. “That is where I work!”

Margaret’s eyes widened with amazement as Lucas offered to give her some valuable nuggets on how to prepare for the interview, while they waited to board. Seated in the departure lounge, Lucas asked for details about the role she was interviewing for, including her presentation and what angle she planned to take. Margaret found herself opening up quickly, given that her long-time friend was genuinely interested in what she had to say. Not only did the man listen without rushing her, but he posed thoughtful questions, helping her refine her points. In no time, she had sharpened her examples and could anticipate what the interviewers would likely prioritise. Lucas went as far as guiding Margaret on how to present the mentoring program as evidence of her leadership, public engagement and talent development. He explained the company’s values, the kind of problem solvers they were looking for and the type of practical leadership they rewarded. By the time boarding was announced, Margaret felt a lot calmer, clearer and more confident than she had felt in weeks.

The next day, Margaret walked into the interview composed; and was able to deliver her presentation with clarity and answer questions with confidence. The interview panel was very impressed. To cut a long story short, she got the job before even departing from Nairobi.

When Margaret returned home, Fabian celebrated her in his own way but did not seem interested in the nitty-gritty of how she had managed to impress the panel. “Good enough, I fixed the car, so you will be able to drive in comfort”, he said.

During the weeks that followed, Lucas would consistently check on how Margaret was doing. Moreover, not only did the man remember details of what they had discussed prior, but he would listen with empathy and support her without being prompted. Margaret no longer felt as though she was struggling to be seen. Gradually, the young woman started realising that although Fabian’s love was genuine, his acts had consistently failed to meet the emotional needs which Lucas was so ably responding to. So, when Lucas took a bold step to ask if they could develop their friendship into courtship, she willingly dropped Fabian and started a healthy relationship with Lucas.