BG.T03-LTP — Learning and Transformation Plan: Emotional Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material

Preparing for the Journey Ahead

Emotional Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material explores five important areas that influence both the ability to become marriage material and the ability to recognise marriage material in another person:

• Emotional Intelligence
• Emotional Maturity
• Understanding Emotional Needs and Love Languages
• Communication and Conflict Management
• Emotional Stability

As you begin this Guide, take time to reflect on your current position, identify the areas that require attention and establish clear goals for growth and transformation.

Part A: Why Am I Reading Emotional Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material?

1. What prompted you to begin reading this Guide?

☐ Preparing for marriage

☐ Strengthening my current marriage

☐ Recovering from a difficult relationship experience

☐ Seeking personal growth

☐ Ministry, mentoring or counselling responsibilities

☐ Helping another person

☐ Other:

2. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to choose a marriage partner?

3. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to become marriage material?

4. Which of the following areas deserves the greatest attention in your life at present?

☒ Emotional Intelligence

☒ Emotional Maturity

☒ Understanding Emotional Needs and Love Languages

☒ Communication and Conflict Management

☒ Emotional Stability

5. Why did you choose that area?

Part B: My Starting Point

6. Which of the following areas is currently your strongest?

☒ Emotional Intelligence

☒ Emotional Maturity

☒ Understanding Emotional Needs and Love Languages

☒ Communication and Conflict Management

☒ Emotional Stability

7. What makes you regard that area as your strongest?

8. Which of the following areas requires the greatest improvement in your life at present?

☒ Emotional Intelligence

☒ Emotional Maturity

☒ Understanding Emotional Needs and Love Languages

☒ Communication and Conflict Management

☒ Emotional Stability

9. What makes you regard that area as requiring the greatest improvement?

10. Which past relationship experience has shaped your views about emotions and relationships most strongly?

11. What lessons from that experience continue to influence the way you relate with other people today?

Part C: My Learning Priorities

Rank the following topics in order of priority.

12. Why is that topic your highest priority at present?

13. Which topic do you think will require the greatest adjustment in your attitudes, beliefs or behaviour?

14. Why did you choose that topic?

Part D: My Emotional Intelligence Goals

15. Which aspect of emotional intelligence requires the greatest attention at present?

☐ Self-Awareness

☐ Self-Regulation

☐ Empathy

☐ Social Skills

☐ Motivation for Growth

☐ Other:

16. Which emotional habit or response would you most like to improve?

17. How would strengthening your emotional intelligence improve your current or future marriage relationship?

Part E: My Emotional Maturity Goals

18. Which aspect of emotional maturity requires the greatest attention in your life?

19. In what situations do you find it most difficult to remain emotionally balanced and mature?

20. How would strengthening your emotional maturity improve your current or future marriage relationship?

Part F: My Understanding of Emotional Needs and Love Languages

21. Which aspect of understanding emotional needs or love languages requires the greatest attention?

22. What difficulties have you experienced when trying to understand or respond to another person's emotional needs?

23. How would strengthening your understanding of emotional needs and love languages improve your current or future marriage relationship?

Part G: My Communication and Conflict Management Goals

24. Which aspect of communication or conflict management requires the greatest attention in your life?

25. In what situations do you find it most difficult to communicate effectively or manage conflict constructively?

26. How would strengthening your communication and conflict management skills improve your current or future marriage relationship?

Part H: My Emotional Stability Goals

27. Which aspect of emotional stability requires the greatest attention in your life?

28. What situations, relationships or circumstances place the greatest pressure on your emotional stability?

29. How would strengthening your emotional stability improve your current or future marriage relationship?

Part I: Putting Learning into Practice

30. What will you do to ensure that you apply what you learn rather than simply reading it?

☐ Complete all Reflection Scorecards

☐ Complete all Self-Assessments

☐ Complete all Action Plans

☐ Keep a learning journal

☐ Discuss lessons with someone

☐ Review lessons regularly

☐ Seek accountability

☐ Other:

31. What has prevented you from consistently applying lessons learned from previous books, sermons, courses or training programmes?

32. What will you do differently during your study of this Guide?

Part J: Accountability and Support

33. Who can encourage and support you as you work on strengthening your emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, understanding of emotional needs, communication skills and emotional stability?

34. How do you intend to monitor your progress throughout this Guide?

☐ Reflection tools

☐ Self-Assessments

☐ Action Plans

☐ Personal journal

☐ Accountability partner

☐ Regular self-review

☐ Other:

35. How often do you intend to review your progress?

☐ Weekly

☐ Monthly

☐ After each chapter

☐ Midway through the Guide

☐ At the end of the Guide

My Transformation Commitments

Commitment 1

I commit to:

Commitment 2

I commit to:

Commitment 3

I commit to:

My Vision for the Future

36. Which of the following topics requires the greatest improvement in your life at present?

☒ Emotional Intelligence

☒ Emotional Maturity

☒ Understanding Emotional Needs and Love Languages

☒ Communication and Conflict Management

☒ Emotional Stability

37. If you faithfully apply the lessons from this Guide, what would you like your future spouse, family members, friends or colleagues to notice about you three years from now?

38. Complete the statement below.

By the end of my study of Emotional Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material, I hope to become a person who:

My Personal Declaration

39. Complete the declaration below.

I recognise that healthy relationships are sustained by emotional intelligence, emotional maturity, effective communication, emotional stability and an understanding of emotional needs. As I study Emotional Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material, I commit myself to growing in self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, emotional responsibility and healthy relationship skills. By God's grace, I will apply what I learn and continue growing as marriage material.