07.02.13 The 7th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Emotional Maturity Does the Person Accept Responsibility for His or Her Emotional Responses?

7. Does the Person Accept Responsibility for His or Her Emotional Responses?

Observe whether the prospective partner accepts responsibility for his or her feelings and emotional reactions. Does the person recognise that emotions are personal responses that must be managed or does she or he shift blame to circumstances, other people, or even you?

Rebekah must have witnessed Isaac’s ability to take responsibility for his emotional responses. When the man realised that Jacob had stolen the blessing intended for Esau (Genesis 27:33), he was visibly shocked. In the Hebrew culture, the ‘patriarchal blessing of the firstborn’ was a prophetic irrevocable declaration confirming and heir’s inheritance, authority and covenant status. Therefore, however much Esau cried, Isaac's hands were tied. Yet despite his deep disappointment, Isaac did not search for a scapegoat or resort to accusation, denial or blame. Instead, he accepted the outcome and affirmed his declaration, painful though it was.

Selina and Adrian both struggled in accepting responsibility for their feelings. As said already, Adrian often carried frustration from work into their conversations, expecting Selina to absorb his emotional strain. Selina, on her part, would sometimes interpret Adrian’s moods as her fault and carry unnecessary guilt, rather than recognising that his emotions were his own responsibility to manage. This pattern gradually strained their relationship.

Taking responsibility for one's emotions is a vital sign of a prospective partner’s emotional maturity. Such an approach enables the person to address his or her feelings constructively rather than placing that emotional burden on you or others. A partner who accepts ownership of his or her emotions contributes to a relationship where emotional well-being is handled with maturity, clarity and mutual respect.