07.01.11 The 4th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Emotional Intelligence Does the Person Use Social Skills to Move Issues toward Resolution?

4. Does the Person Use Social Skills to Move Issues toward Resolution?

Observe whether the prospective partner displays social skills such as communication, to effectively manage interactions, addresses issues constructively and maintains order in a relationship. Does the person seek understanding and resolution; or does she or he attempt to dominate conversations, avoiding discussion or withdrawing into silence?

Ruth must have recognised Boaz’s ability to use communication to move matters toward resolution rather than controlling a situation or withdrawing from it. A clear example is how he handled the kinsman redeemer issue. After learning that there was a nearer family redeemer, Boaz did not ignore the matter, delay the issue or leave the matter unresolved. Rather, he took deliberate steps to address the issue at hand. You may recall how the man called the elders for a meeting at the city gate where public matters were usually settled, addressing the nearer redeemer directly (Ruth 4:1–2), explaining the situation and allowing the process to be conducted openly before witnesses in accordance with the redemption law(Ruth 4:4–10). His communication was structured, purposeful and directed toward a definite outcome.

Boaz must also have observed Ruth’s tendency to communicate in a resolution-oriented manner. When instructed by Naomi about being redeemed by the man and becoming his wife (Ruth 3:1-5), Ruth followed the mother-in-law’s guidance and presented her request plainly to Boaz (Ruth 3:5–9). Her communication was not indirect or evasive but clear and straight to the point, marking the beginning of a process that brought the resolution that she and Naomi were seeking for.

Julius’ case was different. When disagreements arose, his communication with Evelyn was rarely directed toward resolution Instead, as already discussed, it was common for him to shut down the conversation by labelling her concerns as irrelevant and inappropriate; ending with no solution in sight whatsoever. Not only would the man's approach prevent further dialogue, but it also blocked the opportunity for clarification or shared understanding. As a result, the unresolved issues continued to recur, creating frustration and emotional pressure within the relationship.

A prospective partner who uses communication to address matters constructively demonstrates social skills. Such interactions do not rely on control, silence or avoidance, but seek to resolve issues thereby fostering stability in your relationship.