09.05.12 The 6th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Social Maturity and Willingness to Build Effective Support Systems

6. Are Healthy Support Systems Maintained Outside the Relationship?

Observe whether the prospective partner maintains relationships and support systems beyond the romantic relationship. Does the person value friendships, family ties and community connections,; or does she or he withdraw from other people, expecting that the relationship will carry every emotional and practical burden? Does the person recognise that healthy relationships are supported by a wider network of trusted connections?

Elizabeth must have noticed Zechariah’s commitment to structured community life alongside their healthy marriage relationship. His life was not limited to the household but connected to a wider social network. For instance, his temple duties placed him within a community of fellow priests and their congregation (Luke 1:8–10).

Zechariah must have recognised Elizabeth’s investment in relationships beyond their household. When John was born, neighbours and relatives gathered to rejoice with her, reflecting bonds that had been maintained over the years (Luke 1:58).

Flavia approached relationships very differently. Her need for constant affirmation gradually strained Leonard’s friendships and family ties. Conflicts became frequent and people began to withdraw in order to avoid tension. Over time Leonard found that Flavia was struggling to maintain healthy connections with others and understandably Leonard did not have the capacity to be the girl's all in all.

A socially-mature partner recognises the importance of maintaining friendships, family ties and community connections outside your relationship. Such support systems provide encouragement, perspective and accountability. When these networks remain healthy, they strengthen the couple rather than competing with your relationship.