09.04.10 The 4th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Approach to Trust Are Apologies or Correction Followed by a Change in Behavior?

4. Are Apologies or Correction Followed by a Change in Behavior?

Observe how the prospective partner responds after acknowledging a mistake or being corrected. Does the person adjust and improve his or her conduct or do the same patterns continue despite repeated explanations or apologies?

Mary must have recognised Joseph’s willingness to adjust his decisions when necessary. As already discussed, he changed his decision about ending their engagement and immediately took on a new role as the angel had instructed (Matthew 1:19) rather than stubbornly holding to his earlier judgement.

Christine’s behaviour revealed the opposite pattern. When concerns were raised about her duties at church, she would often apologise; yet reports would still delay and duties remained incomplete, coming up with this and that excuse. Gradually, it dawned on Roland that her apologies could not be trusted since no change was coming forth.

An apology has value only when it is followed by correction or visible improvement in the person's behaviour. A prospective partner understands that mistakes require adjustment, not mere apologies, explanations or empty excuses. Such a stance breeds trust since you are encouraged that the person is picking lessons from the errors made.