09.02.03 How Conflict Management Works in Our Marriage

How Conflict Management Works in Our Marriage

A Personal Experience

My husband and I have definitely experienced disagreements during the course of our relationship. Who doesn’t? Most of those conflicts have arisen from misunderstanding what the other one meant. Frankly, I do not recall a time when we have intentionally set out to hurt each other. But none of those conflicts have ever succeeded in pulling us apart. In fact, in many cases, those conflicts have drawn us together. Ephesians 4:29 is one of our guiding principles as we interact with each other during conflict. It reads (NKJV): 29Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. Another scripture is Ephesians 4:26 which says (NKJV): 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,… We endeavour to apologise to one another and reconcile when we hurt each other.

In our marriage, conflicts are handled with a calm and controlled approach. Thinking back, we hardly ever raise our voices at each other; in fact, I can safely say that this has never happened. On the contrary, we address issues calmly, taking responsibility where necessary and expressing concerns constructively. This prevents disagreements from escalating or getting out of hand.

In the same way, we are intentional about preserving mutual respect during disagreements. By listening carefully and considering each other’s perspective, even when we do not initially agree, we are able to engage without dismissing, undermining or disrespecting one another. In our experience, no matter how intense a disagreement may be, we make a conscious effort to treat each other with the utmost respect.

We also approach conflict as a shared responsibility that requires resolution. Rather than allowing issues to build or intensify, we work together toward solutions that support the relationship. This strengthens our cooperation and improves our ability to navigate demanding situations.

In addition, our approach to conflict creates a safe and open environment for expression. Because disagreements are handled with fairness and restraint, we are able to communicate our concerns openly without fear, knowing that we will be heard and, where possible, a resolution will be found.

Finally, the way we manage conflict supports our continued progress. Disagreements do not hinder our growth, as we handle issues responsibly and address challenges in a way that supports our long-term direction.