09.04.05 How Trust Anchored Joseph and Mary's Relationship

How Trust Anchored Joseph and Mary's Relationship

The Story of Joseph and Mary is one of the most popular in the world and has indeed been narrated several times in these series. In short, the virgin Mary was selected by God to carry Jesus in her womb, conceived by the Holy Spirit. Joseph was to play the fatherly role. All that happened in the quiet town of Nazareth. One of the most striking things about their story is how they could have managed to trust each other in the midst of such uncertainty. What qualities propelled the two to trust each other? In this story, we shall discuss the five main attributes that engender trustworthiness namely attention to detail, reliability, empathy, vulnerability and active faith. That is what this story is about.

Joseph and Mary’s relationship presented several opportunities for displaying how each of them was meticulous in giving attention to detail, a thing which must have propelled them to build trust for each other. First of all, Joseph's profession as a carpenter was enough to alert Mary that she had found a partner with such a treasurable trait. The news of her pregnancy was overwhelming but the bible relates how the man considered the potential consequences of his actions on Mary's reputation and their future together. Later, as they travelled to Bethlehem for the census, we know the Mary who was fully pregnant arrived in one piece despite riding for so many kilometers on a donkey, all the way from Nazareth. A man without such attentiveness might not have managed this. Mary must have trusted that Joseph would be able to look after her during that journey and he indeed di, making sure that she was safe and comfortable even when she had to give birth in a manger. The bible gives us a glimpse of Mary ‘attention to detail’, reporting that she "treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19).

The story of Joseph and Mary reveals their reliability thence trustworthiness. To begin with, when Joseph made the commitment to marry Mary despite the circumstances of her pregnancy, the bible does not report that she doubted that commitment, which spells that he was a man of his word, standing by his promises. Then came the day that God instructed them to flee to Egypt. The reliable Joseph acted with haste to ensure that his family was safe. Later, that reliability came through as he devotedly worked to ensure they had food and shelter. He was dependable in meeting their needs. Mary was also reliable in her own say. We all know how she assured the angel about her readiness to ‘mother’ Jesus Christ. The fact that God trusted her to fulfill His plan leaves no questions about her high degree of reliability (Luke 1:38).

Joseph had extraordinary empathy which must have deepened Mary's trust in him. After receiving the news of her pregnancy, the man put himself in Mary’s shoes over his, though initially he must have been terribly hurt, confused and extremely disappointed. What seemed to matter above all else was her feelings and how the public would treat her in case they got wind of what had happened. Such an act was punishable by death by stoning (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). But he was not the only one who was empathetic in their relationship. Apparently, even Mary was. We see her touch of that nature when she politely ordered Jesus to replenish the wine that had run out during a wedding feast in Cana (John 2:1-11) though she must have known that it was not Jesus’s time to reveal himself, since she kept all those details in her heart.

Joseph and Mary’s story discloses the couple’s readiness to be vulnerable with each other, which in essence, fostered trust between them. Joseph had to trust Mary’s words about her pregnancy with no DNA checks or medical tests to prove that she was still a virgin and that she had not cheated behind his back. He in essence was rendering himself vulnerable. For Mary, a good nine months without being intimate with the man that had married her exposed her to a certain form of vulnerability. They must have been sleeping in the same bed and his hormones must have been active. But she trusted that he would bear the ‘fire’ and not cheat that entire period.

As we come to the close of this narrative, we cannot forget the core of the trust that Joseph and Mary had for each other: their great faith. Joseph had never seen an angel in person. All he knew had been in dreams. Yet he took his dreams as God’s Rhema and obeyed all the instructions to the truth, with no confirmation from any prophet. Not even Mary herself; and God being God, His Word would come to pass. Given Mary’s faith in God and His Word, she needed such a man as two people cannot walk together unless they agree. They trusted One God and through that, they trusted each other, that their faith will not fail.

Through it all, Joseph and Mary's trust in each other and in God remained unshakeable, building a partnership that not only withstood challenges but thrived, allowing Jesus to grow and fulfill His purpose on earth.