09.05.07 The 1st Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Social Maturity and Willingness to Build Effective Support Systems

1. Is There Respectful Engagement With Family, Friends and Community?

Consider how the prospective partner interacts with the people who form part of his or her daily life. Does the person show consistent respect, participate appropriately in communal settings and relate to others constructively even when personalities differ,; or does she or he create tension and distance where cooperation should exist?

Elizabeth must have recognised Zechariah’s respectful engagement with the community that surrounded their family. through his faithful service as a priest. The cleric willingly fulfilled his responsibilities in the temple with order and discipline, adopting the established religious structures as he served the community, rather than acting outside the recognised religious order (Luke 1:8–10). Zechariah must have recognised Elizabeth’s respectful engagement in the way she received Mary, her cousin, with openness, joy, comfort and humility (Luke 1:39–41), which must have strengthened their family bond given that Mary was going through a situation that needed social support from ‘family'.

Leonard’s experience was different. Initially warm and gracious, Flavia’s respect while interacting with members of his his social network gradually changed. The girl would selectively and exclusively bond closely with those who praised her but withdrew from people who treated her ‘as normal’. She would interpret any neutral interactions as ‘hostility’, which gradually created tension with Leonard’s family and close friends.

A socially mature partner treats people with respect and recognises that relationships require cooperation and mutual support. Such a person values family, friendships and community connections, understanding that these relationships contribute to stability in life. A partner who engages others constructively can integrate into your social world without creating unnecessary conflict or division between you and ‘your people’ or social networks.