09.05.08 The 2nd Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Social Maturity and Willingness to Build Effective Support Systems

2. Is the Person Aware of How His or Her Behavior Affects Others?

Assess whether the prospective partner shows awareness of how his or her personal conduct influences other people in the proximity. Does the person consider how words and actions affect others and the discomfort or tension their behaviour may create?

Zechariah must have recognised Elizabeth’s awareness of how her behaviour affects relatives. When Mary dropped by, Elizabeth’s words affirmed and encouraged the young virgin. Although the bible is silent about details, we don’t see her flooding Mary with probing questions (Luke 1:41–45). She must have spoken with sensitivity to Mary’s situation, aware that her response could make Mary feel better or worse. That approach would have strengthened the harmony between the two cousins, thereby enhancing their social relationship.

Flavia demonstrated the opposite pattern. She blamed Leonard’s friends for being ‘jealous’, his relatives for ‘not appreciating her’ and his colleagues for ‘flirting’. The girl appeared unaware that her need for attention and her hostile reactions were gradually alienating the very people Leonard valued. Rather than reflecting on her conduct, she consistently shifted the responsibility for the tension onto other people.

A socially mature prospective partner recognises how his or her personal conduct influences the wellbeing of people, reflecting on interactions and adjusting his or her approach to ensure healthy social relationships. In contrast, a person who is unaware of the impact of his or her conduct creates tension and instability within your social environment thereby upsetting and unsettling important relationships.