09.03.01 Introducing Managing Expectations

Introducing Managing Expectations

Many courtship and marriage relationships experience strain because of an expectation gap, a term which refers to the difference between what a person expects from a partner and what she or he actually receives. Expectations shape how people interpret actions, measure a partner’s commitment and respond to disappointment. When expectations remain unspoken, unclear or unrealistic, they quietly introduce tension and misunderstandings in a partnership. Managing expectations requires clarity, honesty and a willingness to align one’s perception with reality so that assumptions or over-expectations do not disrupt the stability of the relationship.

In this chapter, I will reflect on how managing expectations works in our marriage. Referring to the fictitious story of Melody and Pius in conjunction with the biblical account of Elkanah and Hannah, we will offer advice on evaluating a prospective partner’s ability to manage expectations; and how to develop realistic expectations as you wait.