09.04.07 The 1st Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Approach to Trust Is the Person's Behavior Consistent in Both Private and Public Spaces?

1. Is the Person's Behavior Consistent in both Private and Public Spaces?

Observe whether the prospective partner’s behaviour is consistent irrespective of the environment or audience. Does the person display the same integrity in private and in public or does his or her behaviour shift? Does his or her conduct depict who they really are on the inside; or does she or he behave that way simply because circumstances force them to? Is the person’s behaviour superficial, skin deep or cosmetic? Or, is it genuine?

Mary must have noted Joseph’s tendency to be consistent whether in private or public domain. When it came to her unexpected pregnancy, the man treated her with the same dignity in private as he did when the matter became known publicly. When he first learned of her condition, Joseph took a decision to preserve her dignity by ending their betrothal quietly, away from the ‘public eye' (Matthew 1:19). Later, when the angel instructed him in a dream to take Mary as his wife, Joseph obeyed and openly accepted her as his wife despite the possibility of being misunderstood by their community (Matthew 1:24). The man's consistent conduct must have generated trust in Mary. So long as she was with Joseph, the young woman would have trusted that she was in good hands, be it behind closed doors or out in the community.

Christine consistently displayed a divergence between her public image and private conduct. While she presented herself as competent and successful publicly, her real life did not match what she claimed. From claiming a banking role, she created a false image that was very far from her actual job as a cleaner. Church members knew her as a professionally competent financial expert when all that was a hoax. Because of that, Roland could not trust her any longer.

A trustworthy partner behaves consistently in private and in public. The person fulfills commitments when motivated, excited, emotionally encouraged or otherwise. They handle all duties responsibly irrespective of whether the person’s contribution is visibly acknowledged or not. A stable relationship grows when both of you demonstrate dependable conduct all-round as that engenders trust.