09.03.11 The 5th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Ability to Manage Expectations

5. Is the Person Ready to Adjust Expectations if they Differ from the Reality?

Observe how the prospective partner responds when the reality does not align with his or her expectations. Does the person adjust with humility and resilience; or does she or he become rigid, frustrated or overwhelmed?

Elkanah must have recognised Hannah’s adaptability in the way she surrendered her expectation through prayer. Though she had been waiting for the miracle child for ages, she did not become embittered or give up waiting. Although the bible does not give us the specifics, I would like to infer that she adjusted her prayer strategy. As she poured out her heart before God this time round, Hannah aligned her expectation with divine will, committing the very child she desired back to God (1 Samuel 1:11).

Pius revealed a lack of adaptability as he had not taken time to study Melody’s unspoken expectations. Being unaware of the level of social etiquette that the girl expected from a man of his financial caliber, he lived in a dream-world where his money would provide all Melody needed regardless of his social behavior. His inability to perceive or adapt to the reality of her disappointment broke their relationship.

Managing expectations requires the ability to adapt to ‘reality', so as to avoid disappointments. Life is unpredictable and relationships evolve, requiring flexibility in case one finds that the reality differs from initial expectations. A partner who can adjust his or her expectations gracefully, without rigidity or resentment demonstrates resilience. Adaptation ensures that the relationship can navigate unforeseen challenges and changes with mutual understanding and consent.