BG.T03-LTP — Learning and Transformation Plan: Relational and Social Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material

Preparing for the Journey Ahead

Relational and Social Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material explores important relational and social competencies that influence the ability to build healthy, respectful and enduring relationships. These include respecting individuality, managing conflict, communicating effectively, managing expectations, maintaining healthy boundaries and building constructive relationships with other people.

As you begin this Guide, take time to identify the areas that require attention and establish clear goals for personal growth and transformation.

Part A: Why Am I Reading This Guide?

1. What prompted you to begin reading Relational and Social Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material?

☐ Preparing for marriage

☐ Strengthening my current marriage

☐ Recovering from a difficult relationship experience

☐ Personal growth and development

☐ Ministry, mentoring or counselling responsibilities

☐ Helping another person

☐ Other:

2. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to choose marriage material?

3. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to become marriage material?

4. What concerns you most about relationships as you prepare for marriage?

Part B: My Starting Point

5. Which area of relational and social readiness do you currently regard as your greatest strength?

☐ Respecting Individuality and Differences

☐ Conflict Management

☐ Managing Expectations

☐ Communication

☐ Building Healthy Relationships

☐ Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Why?

6. Which area currently requires the greatest attention?

☐ Respecting Individuality and Differences

☐ Conflict Management

☐ Managing Expectations

☐ Communication

☐ Building Healthy Relationships

☐ Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

Why?

7. What past relationship experience has shaped your views about relationships most strongly?

8. What lessons from that experience continue to influence the way you relate with other people today?

Part C: My Learning Priorities

9. Rank the following areas in order of priority.

10. Why is your highest-ranked area a priority at present?

11. Which area do you think will require the greatest adjustment in your attitudes, beliefs or behaviour?

12. Why did you choose that area?

Part D: Respecting Individuality and Differences

13. Which aspect of respecting individuality and differences requires the greatest attention in your life?

☐ Respecting different opinions

☐ Respecting different personalities

☐ Respecting different interests

☐ Respecting different approaches

☐ Accepting disagreement

☐ Avoiding controlling behaviour

☐ Other:

14. What practical action will you take to strengthen this area?

15. How will strengthening this area improve your future marriage relationship?

Part E: Conflict Management Goals

16. Which aspect of conflict management requires the greatest attention?

17. What situations are most likely to expose weakness in this area?

18. What practical action will you take to strengthen your conflict-management skills?

19. How will you know that progress is taking place?

Part F: Managing Expectations

20. Which aspect of managing expectations requires the greatest attention?

21. What unrealistic, unclear or unspoken expectations could create challenges in your future marriage relationship?

22. What practical action will you take to strengthen your ability to communicate expectations effectively?

23. How will this improve your future marriage relationship?

Part G: Communication and Relationship Building

24. Which communication habit requires the greatest attention in your life?

25. Which relationship-building habit requires the greatest attention in your life?

26. What practical action will you take to strengthen these areas?

27. How will you measure progress?

Part H: Boundaries and Relational Balance

28. Which boundary-related issue requires the greatest attention in your life?

29. What situations make it difficult for you to establish or maintain healthy boundaries?

30. What practical action will you take to strengthen your ability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries?

31. How will stronger boundaries contribute to healthier relationships?

Part I: Applying What I Have Learned

32. Which lesson from this Guide will be most difficult to apply consistently?

33. What obstacles are most likely to hinder your progress?

34. What practical measures will you put in place to overcome those obstacles?

35. What habits will help you continue growing in relational and social readiness after completing this Guide?

Part J: Accountability and Support

36. Who can encourage, support and hold you accountable as you continue strengthening your relational and social readiness for marriage?

37. How will this person support your growth journey?

38. How often will you review your progress?

☐ Daily

☐ Weekly

☐ Monthly

☐ Quarterly

☐ Other: ______________________

39. What will you do if you notice that little or no progress is taking place?

My Commitments

Commitment 1

I commit to:

Commitment 2

I commit to:

Commitment 3

I commit to:

My Relational Vision

40. What three relationship qualities would you most like to be known for in the future?

a. ______________________________________

b. ______________________________________

c. ______________________________________

41. What kind of relational environment would you like to create in your future marriage?

42. What would you like your future spouse to experience as a result of your growth in relational and social readiness?

43. If you faithfully apply the lessons from this Guide, what would you like family members, friends, colleagues or a future spouse to notice about you three years from now?

My Personal Declaration

44. Complete the declaration below.

I recognise that healthy marriage relationships are strengthened by respect for individuality, healthy communication, constructive conflict management, realistic expectations, healthy boundaries and the ability to build positive relationships with other people. As I move forward, I commit myself to applying the lessons learned from Relational and Social Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material. By God's grace, I will continue growing in relational wisdom, self-awareness, respect, maturity and healthy relationship practices so that I become better prepared for a healthy and enduring marriage relationship.