09.01.13 The 7th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Respect for Individuality

7. Are Personal Dreams and Friendships Supported or Discouraged?

Observe whether the relationship enlarges or reduces ‘your world’. Does the prospective partner support your connections, calling and outward contribution to the partnership or do your interests, friendships and pursuits gradually narrow in order to preserve harmony?

Priscilla must have observed Aquila’s commitment to support the fulfillment of a partner’s personal dreams and aspirations. This is evident from the fact that her engagement in ministry and business did not diminish but continued to prosper. Their home became a place of gathering for believers and she remained active in teaching, hospitality and ministry relationships across regions (Acts 18:24–28; Romans 16:5). In other words, her world did not shrink within the relationship but remained open and active.

Likewise, Aquila most have spotted Priscilla’s tendency to keep a partner’s dreams ‘burning’ by giving all the possible encouragement and support. Just as for Priscilla, Aquila continued in trade, ministry relationships and shared hospitality as they moved from place to place (Acts 18:1–3; 1 Corinthians 16:19). His world likewise remained active rather than being reduced within their partnership.

Judith’s experience was different. In her effort to maintain keep in Benjamin’s ‘good books', the woman slowly abandoned pastry workshops, baking innovations, networking opportunities and social relationships. Activities that once sustained her identity and confidence disappeared because she feared that disagreeing or opposing Benjamin would be too costly. That is how their relationship ended up reducing her personal ‘world’.

One of the clearest warning signals in a relationship is the gradual reduction of your personal dreams, interests and friendships. A healthy relationship ‘expands’ life rather than shrinking it. A prospective partner who respects individuality will support your interests, professional development and external friendships especially if they are authentic, rather than viewing them as threats, fostering an environment where both of you will thrive.