10.05.14 The 7th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner’s Character

7. Is Personal Growth Prioritised Over Entitlement or Status?

How does the prospective partner approach his or her personal development? Does the person prioritise genuine personal growth, self-reflection and learning from experience; or does she or he lean on entitlement, status or past achievements to avoid responsibility or justify their behavior?

Boaz must have recognised that Ruth prioritised personal growth rather than entitlement or status. When she arrived in Bethlehem as a foreign widow seeking permission to glean, she conducted herself with humility and diligence. Given Naomi’s connection to Boaz, Ruth could have easily assumed special consideration or treated the opportunity to glean in his fields as an entitlement. However, she approached the work with humility, labouring diligently alongside others in the field (Ruth 2:2–3, 7). Her consistent responsibility and honourable behaviour strengthened the young widow’s reputation, earning her recognition and respect within the foreign community (Ruth 2:11; 3:11).

Miriam consistently prioritised personal growth over status. Despite being in a leadership position, she remained approachable and teachable. The UK mission allowed Martin to observe her commitment to ministry and willingness to learn and adapt. He discovered that her focus was on serving and growing, not on making a name or gaining status.

In contrast, Gloria was driven by entitlement and status. You may recall how she used her profile as cabin crew and her self-elevated spirituality to criticise Miriam. Gloria’s claim that she "knew London inside out" and her demand to be on the UK trip, despite not being selected, showed a strong sense of entitlement, albeit misplaced.

A prospective partner who continually seeks to learn and evolve rather than glorifying past achievements or demanding special treatment brings vitality and resilience to your relationship. This commitment to continuous self-improvement ensures that the person contributes positively to the partnership.