10.05.13 The 6th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner’s Character

6. Does Interaction Produce Peace or Emotional Strain

Observe the emotional effect of the prospective partner's close interactions with you or other people. Do those interactions bring clarity, calm and a sense of security; or does she or he create tension, confusion or emotional pressure? Is there reassurance and confidence or anxiety and uncertainty instead?

Ruth must have noticed Boaz’s tendency to speak with peace and calmness in his interactions. For instance, after hearing her proposal for marriage through the redemption arrangements, the man had responded in a dignified, reassuring and empathetic manner, generating clarity regarding the best way forward (Ruth 2:12; 3:10–11). In the same vein, Boaz must have also observed Ruth’s composed and respectful interactions. Again, after his advice on the threshing floor, the young widow had calmly embraced Boaz’s instructions, moreover with gratitude, rather than getting worked up or resisting his proposed course of action (Ruth 2:13; 3:5).

When it came to Martin’s interactions with Miriam, you may have noticed just how calm and peaceful there conversations were. Even amidst challenges, disagreements were handled without escalation and decisions made without pressure or manipulation. Her conduct created clarity, trust and emotional safety.

Martin's experience with Gloria was remarkably different, given that prolonged interactions would produce emotional strain. The girl's responses could not mask her controlling, rebellious and defensive character; which would end up creating confusion and emotional weight.

A prospective partner’s personal character is revealed through the emotional climate that consistently surrounds the person, which, in turn, is determined by the way that person interacts with the people in his or her sphere of influence. The character of a person that is ready for marriage produces peace, stability and emotional safety rather than pressure, confusion or exhaustion.