10.03.04 How Financial Discipline Works in Our Marriage

How Financial Discipline Works in Our Marriage

A Personal Experience

Financial discipline plays a central role in how we manage our lives together.

One thing that I admire about my husband is the way he manages our finances. Not only is he frugal, always making our shilling stretch as far as possible, but he is also faithful, transparent, honest with finances and extremely accountable. He even records all his expenses at the end of each day.

In our marriage, financial discipline strengthens our reliability toward each other. Ever since we met, my husband has consistently taken charge of our finances. For instance, I remember vividly how I gave him my first ever salary to manage, and I have never looked back. I have also never regretted that decision. That is not to say that every man handles a wife’s finances well, because some do not.

In our lives, we have gone through three financial droughts. The first was when we gave a friend a big chunk of our capital after he convinced us that he had money in a London bank account. It sounded like a good arrangement, as it meant we would not have to carry cash pounds all the way from Uganda to the UK. But much to our dismay, I arrived in London only to find that there was no money on his account. Our cosmetics business suffered thereafter to the extent that we could hardly afford to buy cough syrup for our babies.

The second drought came when I was dismissed from my job after refusing to be intimate with a supervisor. It reached a point where we could not even afford school fees for our children, and they opted to home-school themselves during that period. The third, and most significant, was after I refused to partner with a corrupt individual, which led to our consultancies being cancelled and doors to public organisations being closed. Yet through all those times, my husband remained firmly at the helm of our finances. Through careful management of the little we had, we were able to sail through those difficult seasons.

In the same way, financial discipline enables us to align our goals. When money comes in, we allocate it in line with our shared priorities and adhere as much as possible to those decisions. This ensures that our financial choices support our long-term direction rather than create confusion or tension. An example is when we decided to build a home while living in a foreign country. We agreed that a certain percentage of our income would be set aside for that purpose, and little by little, we fulfilled that goal.

Related to this was a season when we needed finances to attend our daughter’s wedding outside the country. During that time, we also committed to give a specific amount toward a church project to roof the building with iron sheets. As we honoured that commitment, we observed God opening doors for financial inflows as we sowed those seeds.

Financial discipline also shapes how we manage our expenses. It allows us to avoid confusion in the way we spend money and prevents unnecessary disagreements. This preserves the harmony of our relationship, especially considering that financial issues are a major precursor to marriage breakdowns.

In addition, financial discipline influences how we make decisions. By prioritising what is necessary, exercising restraint and considering long-term implications, we are able to make choices that support both present needs and future responsibilities. A good example is when we had to cut back on Sunday lunch outings, which had always been part of our routine, allowing us to relax and catch up after a busy week. Much as we missed that time together, we had agreed that certain bills had to be cleared before we could resume the lifestyle we had been accustomed to for decades.

Finally, financial discipline enables us to engage openly and consistently on financial matters. This ensures that our decisions are understood and agreed upon, allowing us to cooperate in fulfilling our financial objectives.