10.01.04 How Effective Communication Works in Our Marriage

How Effective Communication Works in Our Marriage

A Personal Experience

My husband and I have always considered effective communication as a priority. Very early in our relationship, he could accurately read my body language, unravel the meaning of my statements and ‘understand me’. Coming from a relationship where a person was so full of himself that he could never fathom time to ‘listen to my heart’, starting a new journey with my husband was a godsend. A very much-needed relief. And, over the years, our communication has grown to be so effective that, often, one can discern what the other is thinking without saying or disclosing anything to each other.

Since my husband and I came from two different worlds, it was effective communication that enabled us to share and understand each other's expectations, boundaries and responsibilities so that we could be on the same page. This prevented misunderstandings and unspoken concerns from developing into tension.

Effective communication has always been instrumental in addressing sensitive matters with control and respect. We are able to discuss issues without resorting to blame or hostility. This has preserved dignity within our interactions and allowed us to navigate challenges with stability rather than disruption. has strengthened how we handle conflict.

Open communication enables us to engage honestly, empathetically, sincerely and genuinely; and express our concerns without fear of negative reactions. This has strengthened our connection and reinforced trust and confidence in one another.

Active listening is part and parcel of effective communication. By listening attentively, we are able to appreciate each other’s perspective and respond thoughtfully, which demonstrates respect, value and regard for one another. It also ensures that our interactions remain constructive. For instance, I am an early morning person while my husband is most alert at night. So, it is common for me to share in the morning. I appreciate that he gives me a listening ear.

When an issue requires joint consideration and decision-making, communicating effectively enables us to engage productively, coordinate our efforts and move forward with a shared understanding. This engenders cooperation and reinforces our sense of shared purpose.