10.02.11 The 4th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner’s Sense of Responsibility and Accountability

4. Is the Person Open to Accountability and Feedback Without Blame, Silence or Defensiveness?

Observe how the prospective partner responds when called upon to be accountable? How does the person respond when his or her mistakes are tabled? Does the person acknowledge failure and address the matter directly; or does she or he withdraw, become defensive or shift responsibility elsewhere?

Ruth must have recognised Boaz’s openness to accountability in the way he showed readiness to accept the outcome or feedback arising from the discussions of the redemption process (Ruth 4:1–12). Similarly, Boaz must have recognised Ruth’s accountability in her honest and responsible approach from the beginning, as she acknowledged her position of with humility. Despite being much younger than Boaz, she accepted to follow Naomi’s instructions and Boaz's guidance regarding the redemption law, remaining open rather than insisting that it had to be Boaz, by hook or crook (Ruth 3:10-13).

For the case of Dorothy and William, the man would become defensive whenever his failures were pointed out. It was also common for him to consistently shift blame. You may remember how he pointed at Timothy for misplaced drumsticks, suggesting that his colleagues should have monitored the fuel levels. William went as far as implying that HR should have reminded him more firmly about his passport.

A prospective partner who is accountable engages openly and honestly, without becoming defensive or shifting blame. The person is open to feedback, acknowledges mistakes, communicates and views accountability conversations as opportunities rather than threats.