04.05.13 The 9th Key for Adding Value to Your Child's Life

9. Invest ‘Quality Time’ with your Children

Before our ‘nest became empty’, I made sure to spend as much time as possible with my children. I was intentional about it. For instance, our maid would assist in preparing breakfast and lunch while our children and I prepared dinner, giving me more time to interact with them daily. I also made sure to train my daughters in cooking and other household chores myself rather than giving that responsibility to the maid. We reserved Sunday as our family day and guarded it jealously. Principally, I was unavailable on Sundays, after church.

The bible is silent about whether Salome spent ample time with her sons whilst they were growing up. Did she eventually encourage her sons to ‘be ready to serve’ as one of the standards, rather than desiring powerful positions at Jesus’ side? Could she have discovered that Jesus had plans for her sons (and others) after all, even if she had not asked (John 14:3, Ephesians 2:6)?

A value-adding mother invests time to engender the required ‘standards’ in a child.

Adding value to a child’s life will require that you schedule quality time, as already discussed, since you cannot successfully add value to the life of a child who you have not bonded with. Therefore, plan time to phase into a child’s space so that she or he can open up. Many children will not allow parents into their boundaries until they feel safe. It is also important to remember that your children grow with every passing day and if you do not program time for them, it may get too late for them to give you their time. The bible teaches that we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). However, avoid being a helicopter parent who hovers above your children all the time. Teach them to be independent since they will not always sit in your nest; and therefore, they must know what to do in order to succeed even when mum is not around.

Many parents take the step to add value to their children’s lives by teaching them this and that, but their efforts fall on the rock because they may not invest time to discover the struggles such as peer pressure and bullying that may be counteracting the parents’ efforts. Much as the child may be ready to display those standards, the environment may shower down his or her confidence to the extent that she or he just goes with the flow; hence the critical importance of investing time to know what your child may be going through.