04.02.T02-SA — Self-Assessment: Am I a Value-Adding Daughter?

Assessing the Value I Add to My Parents' Lives

This chapter teaches that a value-adding daughter intentionally makes her parents' lives easier, more meaningful and more joyful. Through the examples of Ruth, Rahab and the author's own relationship with her parents, we see that value addition is expressed through respect, obedience, wise choices, practical support, trustworthiness, protection, gratitude and love.

Use this assessment to evaluate how consistently you are applying the principles discussed in this chapter.

Scoring Guide

Part A: Respecting My Parents

The chapter presents respect as one of the most important ways of adding value to parents.

1. I treat my parents with respect regardless of my age or achievements.

Score: _____

2. I avoid embarrassing my parents before other people.

Score: _____

3. I speak about my parents respectfully when they are absent.

Score: _____

4. I show appreciation for the sacrifices my parents made for me.

Score: _____

5. My actions communicate honour towards my parents.

Score: _____

Part B: Guarding My Mouth

The chapter teaches that a value-adding daughter guards her mouth when speaking to or about her parents.

6. I speak respectfully even when I disagree with my parents.

Score: _____

7. I avoid careless, harsh or hurtful remarks.

Score: _____

8. I control my emotions when discussing sensitive matters with my parents.

Score: _____

9. I avoid mocking, ridiculing or belittling my parents.

Score: _____

10. My words generally encourage rather than wound my parents.

Score: _____

Part C: Obedience and Teachability

The chapter highlights both the author's obedience to her father and Ruth's obedience to Naomi.

11. I take my parents' advice seriously.

Score: _____

12. I am teachable when my parents correct me.

Score: _____

13. I seek parental wisdom when making major decisions.

Score: _____

14. I obey my parents willingly rather than reluctantly.

Score: _____

15. My obedience is motivated by love and gratitude rather than fear alone.

Score: _____

Part D: Demonstrating Love Through Action

The chapter teaches that love should be demonstrated through actions, not merely words.

16. I intentionally look for ways to help my parents.

Score: _____

17. I make sacrifices when necessary for my parents' wellbeing.

Score: _____

18. I spend meaningful time with my parents.

Score: _____

19. I make my parents feel loved and appreciated.

Score: _____

20. My parents can clearly see evidence of my love.

Score: _____

Part E: Making My Parents Glad

The chapter discusses intentionally doing things that bring joy to parents.

21. I know what makes my parents happy.

Score: _____

22. I intentionally create opportunities to bring joy to them.

Score: _____

23. I pay attention to my parents' preferences and interests.

Score: _____

24. I celebrate important moments in my parents' lives.

Score: _____

25. My presence generally brings encouragement to my parents.

Score: _____

Part F: Making Wise Choices

The chapter teaches that wise decisions can bring honour and pride to parents.

26. I consider how my decisions affect my parents.

Score: _____

27. I avoid choices that would bring unnecessary shame or distress to my parents.

Score: _____

28. I strive for excellence in areas entrusted to me.

Score: _____

29. I seek to make my parents proud through my conduct.

Score: _____

30. My lifestyle reflects positively on my family.

Score: _____

Part G: Understanding and Addressing My Parents' Needs

Ruth understood Naomi's needs, while the author intentionally cared for her father's needs.

31. I know my parents' current needs and challenges.

Score: _____

32. I notice when my parents need support.

Score: _____

33. I respond when my parents need practical assistance.

Score: _____

34. I make an effort to ease my parents' burdens.

Score: _____

35. I remain available during difficult seasons of their lives.

Score: _____

Part H: Listening to My Parents

The chapter highlights Ruth's willingness to listen and the author's willingness to learn from her mother.

36. I give my parents adequate time to express themselves.

Score: _____

37. I listen attentively when my parents speak.

Score: _____

38. I value my parents' experience and wisdom.

Score: _____

39. I avoid dismissing my parents' opinions prematurely.

Score: _____

40. I treat conversations with my parents as important.

Score: _____

Part I: Honesty and Trustworthiness

The chapter emphasises honesty, trustworthiness and keeping one's word.

41. My parents can trust what I tell them.

Score: _____

42. I am honest even when the truth is uncomfortable.

Score: _____

43. I keep promises made to my parents.

Score: _____

44. I avoid deceiving my parents.

Score: _____

45. I protect trust within the parent-daughter relationship.

Score: _____

Part J: Protecting My Parents

The chapter uses both Ruth and Rahab as examples of daughters who protected parent figures.

46. I look out for my parents' wellbeing and safety.

Score: _____

47. I protect my parents from avoidable harm when possible.

Score: _____

48. I defend my parents respectfully when they are unfairly treated.

Score: _____

49. I protect my parents' reputation and dignity.

Score: _____

50. My parents know that I care deeply about their welfare.

Score: _____

Part K: Giving God Priority

The chapter concludes by emphasising putting God first in the parent-daughter relationship.

51. I seek God's guidance regarding my relationship with my parents.

Score: _____

52. I apply biblical principles when relating with my parents.

Score: _____

53. I pray regularly for my parents.

Score: _____

54. I honour my parents as an act of obedience to God.

Score: _____

55. My faith influences the way I treat my parents.

Score: _____

Scoring Summary

Part A Total: _____ / 25

Part B Total: _____ / 25

Part C Total: _____ / 25

Part D Total: _____ / 25

Part E Total: _____ / 25

Part F Total: _____ / 25

Part G Total: _____ / 25

Part H Total: _____ / 25

Part I Total: _____ / 25

Part J Total: _____ / 25

Part K Total: _____ / 25

Grand Total

Total Score: _____ / 275

Reflection on My Results

56. Which area received your highest score?

57. Which area received your lowest score?

58. Which of Ruth's qualities best describes you at present?

☐ Loyalty

☐ Obedience

☐ Sacrifice

☐ Hard work

☐ Compassion

☐ Faithfulness

☐ Dependability

59. Which of Ruth's qualities most needs development in your life?

60. Looking at the author's experiences with her parents, which area do you most need to strengthen?

☒ Supporting parents practically

☐ Spending quality time

☐ Understanding their needs

☐ Caring for them in difficult seasons

☐ Making sacrifices

☐ Honouring them publicly

☐ Other: ____________

61. If your parents completed this assessment about you, which three sections would receive the highest scores?

62. Which three sections would receive the lowest scores?

63. What one change would most increase the value you add to your parents' lives during the next twelve months?