04.05.12 The 8th Key for Adding Value to Your Child's Life

8. Model the Expected Standards

Time management is a standard that I have always modeled for our children. For instance, in my home, there is a work schedule for the maid, listing the chores and time allocation for each. This schedule is displayed on the refrigerator and the maid must strictly follow it.

Although Salome wished for her children to have a place of power and honour, she herself comes across as a woman who was ready to serve (Mark 16:1). That attribute must have impacted her sons, James and John; since we see that they were among Jesus’ inner circle, along with Peter as shown in Matthew 17:1; Mark 5:37; 13:3 and 14:33.

A value-adding parent models the standards that she or he expects to see in his or her children (John 5:19).

Experts teach us that children learn from what they observe and experience especially during their formative years. They observe and take in those observations ‘as a sponge’, then mimic what they see.

Adding value to your children’s lives is so important because if we neglect such a noble responsibility, they will look for ‘mentors’ from social media, friends and elsewhere; and this is a common precursor of family disintegration.

You also have to review if the standard that you are adding to a child’s life is negative or positive. Is it in line with Godly principles or otherwise?

One of the major standards that a parent must model is reliability. Are you a parent of your word? When we are unreliable, we teach children to tell lies.

Do not follow the ‘do as I say but not as I do’ approach, which ends up watering down the values that you may be aspiring to instill in a child. Even if you follow the ‘do as I do’ approach, consistency is key. Therefore, you must be really committed to building or adding value to the child’s life, by modelling the standards you set.