04.04.05 The 1st Key for Adding Value to Your Husband's Life
1. Respect your Husband
Respecting your husband enhances his self-value and worth, while honouring him before you, your family members and other people within your community. Ephesians 5:33 says (NKJV): 33Nevertheless … let the wife see that she respects her husband. That is not to say that your husband should not do his part of loving you as instructed at the beginning of that verse. The Amplified Classic Edition of that same verse presents a scorecard of what respecting a husband entails. It reads (AMPC): .. let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].
You may have noticed that Michal’s communication was extremely disrespectful when she ridiculed David for dancing before the ark. It was clear that her value for her husband was next to worthless. She probably did not know that her husband was a man after God’s own heart; and that David’s creator will be so displeased by Michal’s disrespectful behaviour that she would end up barren (Psalms 105:15).
A value-adding wife respects her husband.
It is no hidden secret that one common way that a wife could disrespect a husband is through her communication, be it verbal or nonverbal (body language). In fact, many writers assert that ‘communication’ can either make or break that relationship.
Therefore, refrain from speaking in the heat of the moment. Cool down first since the words you say can neither be rewound nor deleted. Ephesians 4:29 sums all this up by saying (AMP): Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the need and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].
Researchers report that while an average woman speaks 20,000 words a day, a man speaks 7000. Our voluminous words can easily lead to a ‘slip of the tongue’ hence the need for us to be watchful when speaking with our husbands or other people for that matter. Proverbs 10:19 warns that (CEV): 19You will say the wrong thing if you talk too much— so be sensible and watch what you say.
Listen actively as that signals respect. What is your husband’s heart saying? How about his body language? I am quite sure that David’s gestures must have shown Michal that her words were going beyond the limit. Had she cared to ‘listen’, the situation would not have burst at the seams to the extent that she never got the fruit of the womb. All in all, always endeavour to listen to the messages your husband is sending with his actions so that you can respond appropriately.