04.04.09 The 5th Key for Adding Value to Your Husband's Life
5. Be Honest
Honesty refers to speaking and acting truthfully. It is about refraining from lying, stealing or deceiving a husband and of course other people. In Romans 12:9, the bible says (NIRV): 9Love must be honest and true.
When it comes to Michal, we see that she was honest by disclosing Saul’s assassination plan to David.
On my part, honesty is a priority in our marriage relationship to the extent that I inform my husband each time a man makes passes at me; and I do that immediately after it happens. Actually, there have been times where we have even laughed over this together.
A value-adding wife is honest with her husband. My sister, someone could frown at my assertion, since being honest about something you did ‘in hiding’ could open a can of worms. I perfectly agree with you. That is why you should reconsider your actions before doing them rather than ‘covering up’ to the extent that your husband reads about it on social media. The bible warns that whatever we do in the dark will be brought to the light. This is in line with the warning that Jesus issued in Luke 12:1-3 which says (MSG): … “Watch yourselves carefully so you don’t get contaminated with Pharisee yeast, Pharisee phoniness. You can’t keep your true self hidden forever; before long you’ll be exposed. You can’t hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can’t whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day’s coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town.
In fact, honesty shows that you are ready to tell the truth even when a lie could have protected you. It sends a message that you value your husband as well as your relationship. Further, being honest adds value to your husband’s life since you are able to candidly, objectively and wisely call ‘a spade a spade’ without bruising his emotions, thence enabling him to make informed decisions.
On the other hand, dishonesty can reduce the bond that a husband and wife share with each other. How would your husband feel if he learnt that you are telling lies or hiding important information from him? What are the issues in your heart? Could it be to do with intimacy, finances, security, communication and so forth? Be open and transparent about your feelings and thoughts rather than pretending that they do not exist or ignoring them. Look for a window to have an honest discussion so that you mutually find solutions. However, package what you say such that it builds your marriage rather than breaking it.