04.02.05 The 1st Key for Adding Value to Your Parents' Lives

1. Respect your Parents

Growing up, there were several incidents where I could have disrespected my parents though I did not. One instance was when someone tipped me off that alcoholic beverages had been served during my pre-wedding bridal send-off party. Apparently, the drinks had been distributed behind my back, camouflaged in soda bottles; when everyone well-knew that I was a staunch born-again Christian with zero-tolerance for those kinds of drinks. On hearing that rumour, I could have quizzed my mum and dad since I had made it clear that my faith did not permit alcohol anywhere at that event. Thinking through, I cannot help but wonder what could have happened had I landed on the drinks during the party. Would I have made a scene before the guests or scolded my parents? Would I have told them off or thrown a tantrum? The answer is a definite ‘no’ as that would have spelt the highest level of disrespect, and undoubtedly dropped my parents’ value before friends, relatives, invited guests and other members of the community. Had it been these days, my tantrum would have gone viral on TikTok.

A value-adding daughter must display respect for her parents. In fact, the respect that you have for a parent can reveal the extent to which you value your ‘parent-daughter’ relationship.

That said, have you ever noticed that while many (not all) firstborns respect their parents, some younger siblings act ‘spoilt’? I have heard stories where ‘baby sisters' are rude to their mothers to the point of scolding them and treating them like trash, with some mothers shedding tears in the process. My sister, although you and I could tag such manners to the way the mother brought up a child, claiming that she (mother) is reaping the fruits of the indiscipline and negligence she ‘allowed while bringing up the child’; and of course, we may be right, but that should never happen. The bible calls such behaviour ‘foolish’. See what Proverbs 15:20b says (AMP): … a foolish man despises his mother. As if that is not enough, such treatment attracts a curse (Deuteronomy 27:16). In fact, Leviticus 19:3 tells us to revere our parents.

On the contrary, treating your parents with respect makes them feel valued and important to you and the people in your circles thereby ‘adding value’ to their (parents’) lives. However, when you disrespect your parents, be it through your conversations with friends, or the way you respond to them (parents) in the presence of other people, the value and importance or honour that those people accord your parents can drop.

By the way, did you know that respecting your parents is a command? Exodus 20:12 explicitly states that. In other words, you are expected to respect them with no questions asked.And, as Ephesians 6:2 puts it, honoring your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise.

Your parents have been commissioned by God to look after you; therefore, you cannot claim to respect God while disrespecting them. God is so strict and firm about this, to the extent that He pegs your long life and success on the honour that you give a parent. We learn this from Deuteronomy 5:16 which says (AMP): ‘Honor (respect, obey, care for) your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that your days [on the earth] may be prolonged and so that it may go well with you in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Finally, respecting our parents is not only for first-borns while the younger ones do the opposite (or vice versa). God requires each one of us to respect our parents, whether first, middle or last born. Leviticus 19:3 brings that out so explicitly. That verse reads (AMPC): Each of you shall give due respect to his mother and his father, ….