04.05.11 The 7th Key for Adding Value to Your Child's Life

7. Make the Necessary Adjustments

There could be incidents where your child may not take up the personal standard that you are trying to instill in him or her, thence necessitating that you adjust your approach.

In my children’s case, we used to pack refreshments and bites for mid-morning break until I discovered that one of my children would just return them, probably because she would go off to play rather than eat her snack. Therefore, I adjusted and started preparing a full meal for breakfast, which she would eat before going to school. That meant adjusting the flow of the timetable that I shared at the beginning of this discussion

For Salome’s case, the bible is silent about whether she adjusted the standards that she considered a priority so as to fit in with Jesus’ vision for His disciples. We know that she was at the crucifixion site (Mark 15:40–41) and probably could have realised that seating at Jesus’ left- and right-hand side was hardly what she had expected.

A value-adding mother makes the necessary adjustments to ensure that her children imbibe the standards that she aspires to instill.

Plan to address the challenges that the child may be facing. Remember to do so kindly but firmly rather than being harsh. For younger children, you could have agreed on specific disincentives that could be issued in case a child fails to comply with a certain standard.

Establish a connection between the standards and his or her behaviour and reaffirm the spiritual, emotional and physical consequences of failing to abide by the agreed or expected standards.

Always highlight the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit as sources of strength that will enable the child to conform to set standards.