08.03.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating Cultural and Family Influences in a Prospective Partner

3. Does the Person Prioritise Shared Christian Convictions Over Conflicting Cultural Traditions?

Observe whether the prospective partner prioritises shared Christian beliefs and biblical truth when these come into direct conflict with cultural traditions. Does the person align his or her actions with those beliefs, or does she or he adhere to cultural practices that contradict those convictions?

Ruth and Boaz must have been sure of each other’s commitment to shared belief in the God of Israel over and above their cultural backgrounds. Ruth, a Moabite, chose to embrace the God of Israel, declaring, “Your God will be my God” (Ruth 1:16). Boaz recognised and honoured this commitment, responding to her on the basis of her belief in the God of Israel rather than her former allegiance to the gods of Moab (Ruth 2:11–12).

Robert struggled significantly in this area. When Caroline pointed out that his annual village ritual for twins contradicted their shared Christian beliefs, he dismissed her concerns, saying that it was just culture, and that she did not ‘understand Africa’. The issue became more serious when he later participated in a house-warming ritual at his new house, demonstrating a clear preference for cultural expectations over shared Christian convictions.

A partner who honours shared Christian convictions above conflicting cultural traditions demonstrates clarity of loyalty and spiritual maturity. When cultural practices conflict with your shared beliefs, God’s Word must guide the decision, rather than social pressure or customs that have not been carefully considered. This ensures that your relationship remains grounded on a shared Christian foundation.