BG.T03-LTP — Learning and Transformation Plan: Mental Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material

Preparing for the Journey Ahead

Mental Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material explores several mental and intellectual qualities that influence the ability to build a healthy marriage relationship. These include intellectual maturity, growth mindset, sound judgement, decision-making, openness to learning and the ability to handle family and cultural influences wisely. The Guide emphasises that relationship success is often shaped by how individuals think, reason, evaluate situations, learn from experience and respond to life's challenges.

As you begin this Guide, take time to identify the areas that require attention and establish clear goals for personal growth and transformation.

Part A: Why Am I Reading This Guide?

1. What prompted you to begin reading Mental Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material?

☐ Preparing for marriage

☐ Strengthening my current marriage

☐ Recovering from a difficult relationship experience

☐ Personal growth and development

☐ Ministry, mentoring or counselling responsibilities

☐ Helping another person

☐ Other:

2. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to choose marriage material?

3. What questions would you like this Guide to help you answer regarding how to become marriage material?

4. What concerns you most about the role of thinking, judgement and decision-making in marriage?

Part B: My Starting Point

5. Which area of mental readiness do you currently regard as your greatest strength?

☐ Intellectual Maturity

☐ Growth Mindset

☐ Learning and Development

☐ Decision-Making and Judgement

☐ Handling Family Influences

☐ Handling Cultural Influences

Why?

6. Which area currently requires the greatest attention?

☐ Intellectual Maturity

☐ Growth Mindset

☐ Learning and Development

☐ Decision-Making and Judgement

☐ Handling Family Influences

☐ Handling Cultural Influences

Why?

7. What past experience has shaped the way you think about relationships most strongly?

8. What lessons from that experience continue to influence your thinking today?

Part C: My Learning Priorities

9. Rank the following areas in order of priority.

10. Why is your highest-ranked area a priority at present?

11. Which area do you think will require the greatest change in your attitudes, beliefs or behaviour?

12. Why did you choose that area?

Part D: My Intellectual Maturity Goals

13. Which aspect of intellectual maturity requires the greatest attention?

☐ Reflecting before responding

☐ Asking thoughtful questions

☐ Evaluating facts objectively

☐ Learning from experience

☐ Seeking wise counsel

☐ Sound judgement

☐ Other:

14. What specific action will you take to strengthen this area?

15. How will strengthening your intellectual maturity improve your future marriage relationship?

Part E: My Growth Mindset Goals

16. Which aspect of your growth mindset requires the greatest attention?

17. What attitudes, beliefs or habits may be limiting your growth?

18. What practical action will you take to strengthen your willingness to learn, improve and adapt?

19. How will you know that progress is taking place?

Part F: My Learning and Development Goals

20. What knowledge, skill or area of personal development would you most like to strengthen?

21. What has prevented you from making greater progress in that area?

22. What practical action will you take to strengthen your commitment to learning and development?

Part G: My Decision-Making Goals

23. Which aspect of your decision-making currently requires the greatest attention?

24. What types of decisions do you find most difficult to make?

25. What practical action will you take to improve the quality of your decision-making?

26. How will stronger decision-making benefit your future marriage relationship?

Part H: Family and Cultural Influences

27. Which family influence requires the greatest attention as you prepare for marriage?

28. Which cultural influence requires the greatest attention as you prepare for marriage?

29. What practical steps will you take to ensure that family and cultural influences strengthen rather than weaken your future marriage relationship?

30. How will you determine whether a family or cultural practice should be embraced, modified or rejected?

Part I: Applying What I Learn

31. What will you do to ensure that you apply the lessons from this Guide rather than simply reading them?

☐ Complete all Reflection Scorecards

☐ Complete all Self-Assessments

☐ Complete all Action Plans

☐ Keep a learning journal

☐ Discuss lessons with someone

☐ Review lessons regularly

☐ Seek accountability

☐ Other:

32. What has prevented you from consistently applying lessons learned from previous books, sermons, courses or training programmes?

33. What will you do differently during your study of this Guide?

Part J: Accountability and Support

34. Who can encourage, support and hold you accountable as you work on strengthening your mental readiness for marriage?

35. How will this person support your growth journey?

36. How often do you intend to review your progress?

☐ Weekly

☐ Monthly

☐ Quarterly

☐ After each chapter

☐ At the end of the Guide

☐ Other:

My Commitments

Commitment 1

I commit to:

Commitment 2

I commit to:

Commitment 3

I commit to:

My Vision for the Future

37. If you faithfully apply the lessons from this Guide, what would you like your future spouse, family members, friends or colleagues to notice about you three years from now?

38. Complete the statement below.

By the end of my study of Mental Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material, I hope to become a person who ____________________________________________________________.

My Personal Declaration

39. Complete the declaration below.

I recognise that healthy marriage relationships are strengthened by intellectual maturity, a growth mindset, sound judgement, wise decision-making and the ability to handle family and cultural influences responsibly. As I study Mental Guidelines for Choosing and Becoming Marriage Material, I commit myself to growing in wisdom, discernment, teachability and personal responsibility. By God's grace, I will apply what I learn and continue growing as marriage material.