08.01.14 The 8th Key for Evaluating a Prospective Partner's Intellectual Maturity

8. Are Difficult Conversations and Necessary Planning Addressed Directly?

Observe how the prospective partner handles discussions that are necessary but uncomfortable. Does the person address important matters such as planning, accountability and correction with clarity and responsibility? Does the individual engage directly when issues require attention; or does the person avoid difficult conversations, change the subject or postpone decisions that require careful thought?

Aquila and Priscilla must have witnessed each other’s willingness to engage difficult conversations in a structured manner, when clarity was required. A case in point and as already discussed, was when they found themselves with the self-allocated responsibility of straightening out Apollos’ teaching by addressing or clarifying some theological issues in what he had been conveying to his congregation. The couple did not ignore the matter or assume it would resolve itself. Instead, they privately assisted him to understand the message more accurately (Acts 18:26).

Jonathan responded very differently. When Tabitha raised questions about distribution strategy, risk management and accountability, he repeatedly avoided the discussion. He changed the subject, offered vague reassurances and postponed decisions that required careful planning. His reluctance to address these matters revealed an unwillingness to confront issues that required disciplined thought and responsible leadership.

An intellectually mature partner does not avoid difficult discussions or necessary planning. Rather, she or he understands that responsible decisions require honest conversation, careful preparation and clear accountability. By addressing important matters directly, the person helps to ensure that decisions are made thoughtfully and that responsibilities are carried out with wisdom and discipline.