08.02.09 The 3rd Key for Evaluating a Growth or Fixed Mindset in a Prospective Partner
3. Does the Person Prefer to Grow Independently or With Others?
Observe how the prospective partner approaches development in relation to those directly involved or affected. Does the person involve those whose input is necessary in learning, reflection and improvement; or does she or he tend to pursue growth alone? Does the individual demonstrate a willingness to grow alongside appropriate people, or does the person prefer to keep development personal and self-directed?
Manoah must have observed Hazzelelponi’s willingness for the two of them to grow together. For instance, his wife had been quick to collect him when the angel reappeared, so that they could both receive the angel’s instructions. Rather than treating the responsibility of her ‘pregnancy diet’ as personal, she recognised the need for shared understanding. Likewise, Hazzelelponi must have observed Manoah’s willingness for them to grow together as evident in his responses. See what he said in Judges 13:8 (NKJV): 8Then Manoah prayed to the Lord, and said, “O my Lord, please let the Man of God whom You sent come to us again and teach us what we shall do for the child who will be born.” Manoah joined her and engaged directly with the angel. Their interaction became a shared learning experience.
Derrick was prepared to grow alongside a partner but Norah’s resistance made shared development impossible. When confronted with her repeated negligence and procedural violations, she reacted with defiance, even tearing up a formal warning. Her unwillingness to engage in growth created an uneven burden for Derrick, making a balanced partnership unsustainable.
A growth-minded partner views development as a shared journey rather than an individual pursuit. Such a person contributes to learning, reflection and improvement within the relationship, allowing both partners to address weaknesses and strengthen one another. Shared growth builds stability because responsibility for development is carried together rather than separately.