05.09.11 The 9th Leadership Practice for Managing Negative Gossip : Get the Facts
Get the Facts
As a leader, you need to have accurate information when dealing with negative gossip rather than just relying on hearsay.
In Numbers 12:1, we see Miriam and Aaron using negative gossip to criticise Moses for having married an Ethiopian woman. Let us revisit that verse here. It reads (NKJV): 1Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married; for he had married an Ethiopian woman. However, I would like to infer, as stated elsewhere, that since Miriam and Moses must have had a soft spot for each other ever since she watched over him in the Nile, she could have lovingly compelled him to share his reasons for marrying the Ethiopian. And, with those facts in hand, the firstborn would have been able to restrain herself and Aaron from gossiping against their baby brother.
When it came to JuaLink, it was the lack of adequate facts that pushed the board to approve an expensive investigation, instead of directing Obed to present evidence proving that Faraja and Neema were fraudulent. As already mentioned in many places, had the board members insisted that Obed submits some facts first, they would have found no need for further investigations.
The need to get the facts before moving into problem-solving mode is supported by scripture. See the advice that God gave His children in Deuteronomy 13:14 (TLB): 12-14If you everhear it said about one of the cities of Israel that some worthless rabble have led their fellow citizens astray with the suggestion that they worship foreign gods, first check the facts to see if the rumor is true. Some more advice on the importance of having the relevant facts is contained in 1 Timothy 5:19. That scripture reads (ERV): 19Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. In addition, Proverbs 18:13 says (AMP): 13He who answers before he hears [the facts] - It is folly and shame to him. To sum it up, facts are important.
Your search for facts or evidence about a rumour could involve interviewing the very gossiper(s). Should you take that option, beware that she or he could use your questions to generate more gossip by editing what you have said; which in the end, could defeat the purpose. Therefore, ask well-thought-out-and non-confrontational questions; and, as already cautioned elsewhere, record the deliberations and get witnesses if possible.
You may also need to interview the victims of the gossip. However, be tactful when asking questions, since ‘gossip victims’ may be hurting or even ‘pricky’. Be gentle, respectful and compassionate. You may also ask the respondents to recommend solutions for addressing the situation at hand.
In a nutshell, be positive and professional, as well as displaying emotional intelligence when soliciting facts.