05.02.09 The 7th Consequence of Participating in Negative Gossip
7. Destruction of Personal Relationships
Negative gossip has been known to destroy relationships that would have otherwise been indispensably important.
Being the firstborn of four siblings and with one brother, I get so touched by how gossip could have damaged the relationship between Miriam and her brother Moses. The two must have been close since early days. Moses could have recalled that it had been ‘big sis’ that kept intricate and tireless watch over him when his parents hid him in the bulrushes of the great River Nile, in the desperate hope that the baby would be picked by the Egyptian princess and not Pharoah's killers, as they had been given instructions to drown Israelite baby boys in the very river where they (parents) were hiding him. Miriam had watched the baby intently, braving the insects or crawling creatures; not taking her eyes off the floating cradle where Moses had been safely hidden. It was Miriam that had spotted the Pharoah’s daughter picking Moses from a floating basket, whence she ran bravely to the princess, not minding being discriminated against since her people were slaves in the land. It was Miriam that had boldly convinced the princess that she (Miriam) would call ‘mum’ to breastfeed Moses. With all that loving and caring background, Moses could have wondered how ‘big sis’ could now gossip against him. If it had been Aaron doing the gossiping, perhaps that could have been understandable considering that some sibling rivalry could have cropped in, given that God was using Aaron on Moses' ticket. But Miriam? If such contemplations went through Moses’ mind, I can’t help but wonder whether his relationship with Miriam survived the gossip saga. Did their closeness snap back to where it was before? Or, did negative gossip destroy it?
Under normal circumstances, allowing rumours to separate siblings, parents and other relatives should never happen since ‘blood is thicker than water’. Therefore, if you recall the rumours that some relatives wanted to involve me in, as narrated in the ‘feature-stories’ section of this book, it was the potential destruction of such relationships that propelled me to bluntly excuse myself from the negative gossip. Proverbs 16:28b is spot-on when it says (NLT): 28... gossip separates the best of friends.
At JuaLink for example, gossip destroyed several relationships. Do you realise that Faraja could have been willing to mentor Lulu, probably as part of the organisation’s succession plan? That would have easily positioned the officer to become a publicity manager someday. Unfortunately, her gossiping habit ultimately killed any chances of such a promising and rewarding relationship.
Another way that gossip damages relationships is where the gossiper earns a reputation as a mudslinger’, simply because she or he is always speaking negatively about colleagues. Candidly speaking, workmates get tired of listening to the gossiper rambling on and on against other people, which, of course, ends up driving potential friends away.